[NewSteve]

Not a new story I'm sure  , but since planting out my cukes a couple of weeks a go they seem to have gone into a perpetual sulk. The stems are going woody and the leaves are turning crinkly. They don't seem to have grown at all.   

They're in virgin soil that's had plenty of compost dug in, plus chicken pellets and sprinkling of BFB before planting. They went out in peat pots so the roots haven't been disturbed, and they've certianly had plenty of water (too much water and not enough sun, let's be honest). The achochas planted a foot away are having a whale of a time though, as is everything else in the garden, so it's hard to blame the conditions.

Any suggestions for what I can do to perk them up?

[JayG]

Cukes are infamous for being intolerant of anything less than perfect about their growing conditions, and some of us  have yet to find out everything that's actually on that long list of requirements, although I must admit I usually do OK with outdoor cukes.

Mine are still in the GH - I suspect too much rain and lack of warmth are what has been affecting yours.

If they decide to live, they should perk up now that it's a bit warmer.

[crh75]

Plant them on a slight mound so the stems don't get too wet.

[NewSteve]

Plant them on a slight mound so the stems don't get too wet.

It's a bit late for that but they don't seem to be rotting! Just kind of refusing 

And I know they're notorious for it, but it's still frustrating that the almost idenitcal plants next to them are romping away. Maybe I'll drop a couple of seeds in next to each one in case they do decide to die on me.

[surbie100]

I've had Lazarus-style recovery from the crinkly-leaved phase. Most of the time. I imagine they are quietly debating their options. I do always have problems with roots getting through peat pots and now don't use them.

[Snoop]

I do always have problems with roots getting through peat pots and now don't use them.

Same here.

[Totty]

Not a fan either.

Totty

[beesrus]

I know a prayer that sometimes works. 
I gave up growing outdoor cucumbers years ago. If the weather ain't right you can whistle.
Even in the greenhouse, I started with 6 indoors this year and now have only 3, but that should be enough. As usual all 3 were lost to my own stupidity, or more accurately, lack of care, leaving the compost rather  too wet, and using too water retentive a compost causing the usual stem thing. I should know better.
If starting off with peat pots, always rip off the bottoms at the appropriate time, the rest of the plant roots won't suffer without a bottom.

[I Love Spuds]

One of my cucumbers sulked for a few weeks (in the GH) so I replaced it as it looked as if it was going to die! Emergency back up went in and proceeded to sulk for 2 or 3 weeks, with curly leaves, as before. Then, overnight, it just romped away and has almost caught up with the other plant which has been strong and healthy from seed! Sometimes I think patience is the answer, and I'm starting to think that last years "just neglect them but water occasionally" attitude might be the way forward ,as I had no problems with them last year. I sometimes think the more you pamper them the more high maintenance they become 

[NewSteve]

Some signs of life in the last couple of days. Touch wood.

Luckily they seem to have been spared by the neighbourhood cat, who decided to dig up my newly planted squashes.