[andreadon]

i know.
i'll get an appointment tonight.

[andreadon]

okay, i've just rung the vet's.
i'm taking her in after i shut the shop.

i started crying to the woman down the phone and then she had to tell me that it wasn't the same vet's that Jessica was x-rayed in.
whoops.
they've still agreed to do it though.

assume adam must have taken her to Borden Lane (i always take them to Teynham)

[Aunt Sally]

I'm glad they'll see her to her today. 

It will be best for you too not to see her suffering any longer.

[Kate and her Ducks]

This is an act of love and humanity for her. It is the right thing to do.

[andreadon]

it doesn't feel humane.
i feel like a killer

[Aunt Sally]

What do you think the humane thing to do is then Andrea ?

[andreadon]

i don't know

[Gwiz]

Having to put a much loved animal to sleep is never easy, I've blubbed for hours after having to have my own pets put down, and also after having to take my sisters pets along to the vet for the same thing . With ownership comes responsibility. You've made the right decision. After it's done, I'm sure you'll get support from the others here.  

[andreadon]

thanks.

i do know it's the right thing to do, but it really hurts.

[Aunt Sally]

Of course it hurts - You would be completely heartless if it didn't !

It hurts us all !

[dizzylizzie]

i can't.
she's my favourite.

i don't want her to die and i don't want her to be killed.

Oh Andrea, im so sorry for you. I, like many on here see their feathered friends as just that- friends. we love them and i know the pain that you are feeling right now.I have spent a lot of money on op's , procedures and drugs to keep them alive, but you know this is not the right thing to do!As you know, and others have said chucks hide their illness very well. You know your girl and you know she is not right.A quiet girl is a girl in pain and you are keeping her alive for you, because she really isnt going to benefit from it, shes not going to get well from this, and as she cant tell you, you dont know how much pain she is in.You have to be strong and grown up about this, take her and let her be free of pain. Im so sorry you are going to loose her, and we will all be here for you(not much conselation i know)She has relied on you to love her and look after her, giving her everything she needs, dont let her down at the final hurdle. I know you will do the right thing because you love her. Take her, you know its the right thing x

[andreadon]

Morning all.

I wasn't online last night, but I wanted to tell you that I took her to the vet after work.

Because it wasn't the vet that x-rayed her, i had to explain it all again, and he had a feel and said he could feel her tumour.
he said it was the size of a tennis ball, so she must have had it ages and ages.

anyway, they let me stay in the room while they injected her. it was awful - they had to hold her up in the air (I've seen them do this before when they've injected anti-biotics etc) but it was just really surreal.

she went unconscious almost immediately, and they monitered her for less than a minute before she died. It was just so quick.

Thanks for all your support (and chastisement )

I'll post some pics and videos in chat in a while.

[carolbriar]

Oh Andreadon I am so sorry for you.  It was the kindest thing to do.

[joyfull]

even though it was a hard decision it was the only proper one to take. It's not easy - we all know that - but it was the best for Jessica. Huge hugs xxx

[andreadon]

the worst thing was that I kept saying to her "please die now" before we went to the vet so that I wouldn't have to go through with it.


Like that would make it easier on both of us.

I know she probably wouldn't have fallen asleep, though and that it would have been more traumatic than the injection.