[John]

We changed our internet service provider - on the positive we now have fibre to the house and speeds that are amazing. On the negative side - the phone line was lost. It's back now but they don't know if they can get our number back.
Then there's the parcel we sent to Spain.. insured against loss .. so they claim they can't find the house which appears on Google maps easily - and bring it back to the UK! If we want our parcel back that they charged £17 to deliver, we have to pay them £20. And no, we don't get the insurance. The response I made is on the lines of what we do to turkeys..
Then I have a senior moment on Ebay and order Perlite meaning to order Vermiculite

So then I watch the news..
Mutant virus strain that is more contagious. Perhaps it sneaks through the letterbox!
Christmas is cancelled
French close the border and 10 zillion trucks parked in Kent
Irish close the border, more trucks parked in Anglesey
Londoners flee the capital to spread the plague to the rest of the country..

But the worst thing, the last straw, is the panic buying.. queues at shops and empty shelves. It's that bad that Fortnum & Masons appear to have taken the Imperial Hamper off their web site. At £6,000 a snip! (seriously, appears sold out) I suppose we'll have to go to Harrods with the hoi poloi.

Actually I am going back to bed, please call me when it's April

 

[mrs bouquet]

Oh, I know how you feel.  I ordered a Christmas gift for Son and his wife.    Supposed to be delivered last Saturday,  So far Royal Mail have sent it to the wrong Depot - TWICE - now we seem to be having no RM contact.    Meanwhile - back at the ranch - I ordered a new landline phone, one of mine is on the blink.  Also due for delivery last Saturday.    Still not here  -  apparently, I was out  !!!!!  I don't think so   
Does it make a huge difference if you use perlite or vermiculite ?   I use whichever I have got lying around.
Take a chill John. A nice cuppa and lay down in a darkened room.
On a positive thought, maybe the illegal immigrants will not want to come here now, but there maybe stowaways in the lorries trying to get into France.     Mrs Bouquet
PS, My wrist watch battery has just run out - time standing still  !!!

[Christine]

Actually I am going back to bed, please call me when it's April

 

Ah come on -  how can we call you in April if you've lost the telephone number? 

[John]

Does it make a huge difference if you use perlite or vermiculite ?   I use whichever I have got lying around.

I find vermiculite is great when starting shallow sown seeds - scatter it over the top instead of compost. Perlite for mixes like potting up strawberries.

Good news is we're now ready for Christmas followed by the apocalypse! Enough loo rolls to cope with dysentery! We've one click and collect tomorrow - even if the whole thing was scrubbed, we'll be fine. We've a tin of corned beef, some potatoes and a cabbage which would be a lovely dinner! 

[Growster...]

And to make matters worse, our local shops have stopped selling Cheese Footballs!

I really don't know where the world's going to next!

(About this time of year, Mrs Growster and I always have a giggle at what we call 'the Waitrose face', which is a cross between a grimace, a mad stare and a sort of ugly down-turned mouth. It's caused by shortages of Manchego cheese, organic beech-smoked salmon and a lack of some Bratislavian red plonk at £45.00 a pop! These shortages are manifested in the sad faces of little Jocasta and Wayneerama, and become the cause of an screaming argument aimed at the tireless, lovely gals at the tills, because the customer has forgotten their card, and the whoooooole of Christmas will be ruined as the long-wheel-base has a slow puncture because Cassian forgot to get to the garage last week, as he was shooting in Scotland...)!

All good clean fun...;0)

[madcat]

Actually I am going back to bed, please call me when it's April
 

Bears do it. Bats do it. Even European hedgehogs do it. And now it turns out that early human beings may also have been at it. They hibernated, according to fossil experts. https://www.theguardian.com/science/2020/dec/20/early-humans-may-have-survived-the-harsh-winters-by-hibernating

So why not, go for it John! 

[rowlandwells]

the shops are selling out Fast what no nuts!! everyone or most gaged up with the cov-mask and some wearing a welders mask

Kent opens a new lorry park on the M20  plenty of smiling EU lorry drivers happy that there been waiting to go home for many hours will they get home for there Christmas turkey or will the Kent authorities open a soup kitchen ?

then back to Christmas in England hours waiting for a parking space in the supermarket and when you get a slot you find out what you want is sold out 

never mind there's plenty of beer in the fridge a few bottles of wine so the we got our  priorities are rite
then its down the allotment to pick a few brussels and the heavens open up o' dear i forgot my raincoat 

then your looking forward to snow at Christmas and you get lashings rain still waiting for the seeds to arrive and the posties have gone on strike so lets crack a bottle or two or three get in you favourite chair have a few zzz and wake up in April o 'dear i missed Christmas perhaps we could have our turkey on the BBQ

[Fairy Plotmother]

 

Actually I am going back to bed, please call me when it's April

 

Ah come on -  how can we call you in April if you've lost the telephone number? 
[/quote

[RubyRed]

        Today while at my till for an 8 hr shift in the Ebola tent which is my place of work, a young woman wearing a mask pulled down her mask, liberally slobbered on her fingers which left a strand hanging, and counted out 80 quid. I remonstrated and asked if she had any other money. She retorted, " we all have to die sometime, we just don't know when. I don't believe all the scaremongering. It's your fault anyway, a lot of shops have damp sponges to help with the notes". I was stunned. Took the notes , told her I'd rather not die from something she gave me me and asked her to go to s ainsburys instead. blooming customers. Bah humbug

[Growing Weather]

John
        Re the phone problem I take it it's through BT. If you have FTTP have you considered using Vonage or maybe another VOIP provider. If you get your original number back you can transfer it to Vonage . Just follow the protocol for doing this or you will lose your original number again.

[John]

New provider is Zen from Plusnet. I chose Zen as they have such a good reputation although not cheap. I can't say I'm too impressed with them on this performance.
We can connect a DECT phone to the new router (97.4 down, 20.8 up!!) but Zen said it's only for outgoing calls and not recommended for 999 - so a second phone solution.
Our mobile reception is spotty at best.
Happy enough with a copper landline and inclusive minutes for outgoing for what we do. But thanks for the suggestion.

[Growster...]

Actually I am going back to bed, please call me when it's April
 

Bears do it. Bats do it. Even European hedgehogs do it. And now it turns out that early human beings may also have been at it. They hibernated, according to fossil experts. https://www.theguardian.com/science/2020/dec/20/early-humans-may-have-survived-the-harsh-winters-by-hibernating

So why not, go for it John! 

I read a serious article a while back, which suggested that sleep is in fact, the natural state for humans, and that being awake is not as normal as people might think!

While my sleep patterns are ridiculous, I tend to think that I'm supposed to be daft - all the time...!

[mrs bouquet]

My telephone arrived, and guess what it is not compatible with existing  -   why waste everybodys time 
Now I have got to parcel it up, return it and hope for a refund  !!!!       Nearly enough " last straws" to make a bale.      Mrs B

[jezza]

Hello which ever other phone company you go with you still have to pay BT for the link to the house unless you have had fibre connected to a converter box in your house the fibre cables usually run to the green boxes that sprout up on grass verges then its standard cable to the house, a village near me spent £80,000 getting fibre for phones and broadband it goes to their green box then copper   jezza

[mumofstig]

Hello which ever other phone company you go with you still have to pay BT for the link to the house

No 'you' don't have to pay BT the service provider pays BT. If my Sky phone /internet service goes wrong I contact Sky and they get the BT engineer out to mend it