The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!

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John

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #3825 on: September 12, 2019, 12:02 »
My genius grandson has solved the mystery of the dinosaurs - and he's only 6 years old.

It wasn't volcanoes. It wasn't an asteroid. Someone put yellow labels on them. Then Grandma  bought them all and Granddad ate them all.

Oh dear!  :nowink:
Check out our books - ideal presents

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DanielCoffey

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #3826 on: September 12, 2019, 21:30 »
The kid's a genius but... how old does he think you are???

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John

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #3827 on: September 12, 2019, 22:56 »
The kid's a genius but... how old does he think you are???
Older than the dinosaurs, apparently! Maybe 20 years old.. Being serious, I think he knew it was a joke, so maybe he'll have a career in stand up.

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John

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #3828 on: September 15, 2019, 00:36 »
Weird Greenhouse Instructions
From Eden Greenhouses Burford ..
Quote
If you are siting your greenhouse on earth, please refer to the dimensions given in section 0 Foundation.
Strangely there are no instructions for Mars or even the Moon!

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Growster...

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #3829 on: September 16, 2019, 18:40 »
Weird Greenhouse Instructions
From Eden Greenhouses Burford ..
Quote
If you are siting your greenhouse on earth, please refer to the dimensions given in section 0 Foundation.
Strangely there are no instructions for Mars or even the Moon!

Ha ha ha!

Of course, you'd be OK on Venus as they're all green there, or so my Eagle comic from 1957 tells me...

;0)

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John

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #3830 on: September 16, 2019, 20:34 »

Of course, you'd be OK on Venus as they're all green there, or so my Eagle comic from 1957 tells me...

;0)

But the Mekon might get me!  ::)

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John

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #3831 on: October 04, 2019, 11:17 »
Frank the farmer had a nagging wife. She made his life miserable. The only real peace he got was when he was out in the field ploughing.

One day while in the field, Franks wife brought him his lunch. Then while he quietly ate she berated him with a constant stream of nagging and complaining. Suddenly, Franks old donkey kicked up his back legs, struck her in the head killing her instantly.

At the funeral, the Priest noticed that when the women offered their sympathy, Frank would nod his head up and down. But when the men came up and spoke quietly to him, he would shake his head from side to side.

After the mourners left, the Priest approached Frank and asked, Why did you nod your head up and down to all the women and shake from side to side to all the men?

Well, Frank replied, The women all said how nice she looked, and her dress was so pretty, so I agreed by nodding my head up and down. And all the men asked, Is that donkey for sale?

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mrs bouquet

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #3832 on: October 07, 2019, 16:55 »
I am bored and fed-up with my life.   So I have got a camper van, and I am going away touring until my money runs out.
I shall probably be back about 10 pm.     :lol:   Mrs Bouquet

Told to me by 10 year old grandson  8)
Dux Femina Facti

Sometimes my mind wanders, if found please return.

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rogerbodger

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #3833 on: October 10, 2019, 19:24 »
I visited the zoo earlier and saw what looked like a baguette in one of the enclosures. A bit puzzled I asked a member of staff what it was ... he said it was bread in captivity

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Growster...

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #3834 on: Yesterday at 11:41 »
Mrs Growster and I had a big fight last evening; she accused me of being gullible and financially irresponsible!

Just wait until she hears I've won the Nigerian Lottery!

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DanielCoffey

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #3835 on: Yesterday at 21:34 »
You can take her on holiday to the Benin Republic when you go to collect your pre-paid Visa card too!



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