The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!

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John

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #3870 on: April 04, 2020, 13:18 »
I just love this
voles.jpg

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Growster...

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #3871 on: April 04, 2020, 17:57 »
This'll make you larf...
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DanielCoffey

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #3872 on: April 04, 2020, 20:31 »
Sometimes it is really interesting when you watch random YouTube videos when tired. I have just watched one that has reposted stuff from Reddit where Anaesthesiologists were asked about the funniest things they had seen or heard when putting people under and this one really made me laugh...

When I was put under for tendon surgery when I was 16, I asked the Anaesthesiologist how long he had to go to med School and he responded with "All day!"

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JayG

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #3873 on: April 04, 2020, 21:54 »
The pandemic has changed everything - seems like only yesterday one used to cough to hide a fart; now it's the other way round.  :wacko:
Sow your seeds, plant your plants. What's the difference? A couple of weeks or more when answering possible queries!

One of the best things about being an orang-utan is the fact that you don't lose your good looks as you get older

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Mr Dog

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #3874 on: April 05, 2020, 19:27 »
Are all those driving around wearing face masks worried about car owner virus?

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John

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #3875 on: April 06, 2020, 12:36 »
Bit of pointed humour courtesy of Facebook
grim reaper.jpg

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WeavingGryphon

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #3876 on: April 06, 2020, 14:33 »
"Children perform boring tasks better when dressed as Batman".
avocados are not vegan"
"Airbnb's HQ features a replica of the War Room from Dr Strangelove"

Found another, "TITSUP is a military aconym for "Total Inability To Support Usual Performance"".

I got these from the 2'024 QI facts To Stop You In Your Tracks. Just not feeling very funny, but thought these were.
« Last Edit: April 06, 2020, 14:35 by WeavingGryphon »

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WeavingGryphon

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #3877 on: April 06, 2020, 14:38 »
"Scurryfunge-is to tidy up quickly before visitors arrive." Still from QI.

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Blackpool rocket

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #3878 on: April 06, 2020, 15:34 »
A friends partner is having a really bad time coping with social distancing, she spends days, and sometimes all night just staring through the windows.

He added that he was still not going to let her in though!

Stay well everyone.

Br

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Growster...

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #3879 on: April 07, 2020, 06:23 »
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patty Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to take out a 30,000 loan for a holiday."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, "Sure! I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed. Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow 30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"

The bank manager looks back at her and says, "It's a knick-knack, Patty Whack! Give the frog a loan! His old man's a Rolling Stone!"

(h/t - David Duff)

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Plot 1 Problems

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #3880 on: April 07, 2020, 10:57 »

The bank manager looks back at her and says, "It's a knick-knack, Patty Whack! Give the frog a loan! His old man's a Rolling Stone!"

(h/t - David Duff)


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grinling

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #3881 on: April 10, 2020, 21:13 »
I laid on a buffet for the family...they were not impressed and told me to get off

(Round The Horne)

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Growster...

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #3882 on: April 11, 2020, 05:14 »
Aaaaah, Kenneth Horne! Fabulously funny man!

'Loose-limbed, he walked into the room, so loose in fact that his left leg fell off and rolled under the sofa'...

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Growster...

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #3883 on: April 11, 2020, 06:45 »

A penguin walks into a bar and says to the bartender 'Has my brother been in'.

The bar tender replies 'I dunno, what does he look like?'

:0)

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Mr Dog

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #3884 on: April 11, 2020, 18:45 »
Just got back from shopping at Tesco. The bloke in front of me at the till had 4 crates of San Miguel, 5 paellas and 3 sombreros.
Aye, aye I thought, Hispanic buying



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