The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!

  • 3835 Replies
  • 549474 Views
*

Growster...

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Location: Hawkhurst, Kent
  • 10041
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #3795 on: June 19, 2019, 06:36 »
Jay, I think he may have taken a shine to a certain lass for a joint effort...

*

Goosegirl

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Location: Thurnham, Lancashire
  • 6603
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #3796 on: June 19, 2019, 12:13 »
Is the lass Polish by any chance?
I don't like bananas unless it's raining. (A quote from my great-niece).

*

JayG

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Location: South West Sheffield
  • 15589
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #3797 on: June 19, 2019, 12:44 »
Dual nationality actually GG (French Polish.)
Sow your seeds, plant your plants. What's the difference? A couple of weeks or more when answering possible queries!

One of the best things about being an orang-utan is the fact that you don't lose your good looks as you get older

*

Growster...

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Location: Hawkhurst, Kent
  • 10041
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #3798 on: June 19, 2019, 20:06 »
Could have been a matt Finnish, Jay!

We're not out of the EU yet...

*

DanielCoffey

  • Experienced Member
  • ***
  • Location: South Ayrshire, UK
  • 441
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #3799 on: June 21, 2019, 09:13 »
If a bee lands on your hand, what have you got in your eye?

Beauty. Because beauty is in the eye of the bee holder!

*

Pescador

  • Senior Member
  • ****
  • Location: Miskin, Pontyclun, S.Wales
  • 512
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #3800 on: June 21, 2019, 10:52 »
Lost cat?
Missing cat.jpg
Every Pickle Helps!

Paul's Preserves and Pickles.

*

John

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Location: Clogwyn Melyn, Gwynedd
  • 14112
    • Low Cost Living
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #3801 on: June 21, 2019, 21:12 »
Lost cat?
I've been out in a storm checking sheds and calling for a missing moggy... who was sitting having a wash on my bed when I returned. :)
Check out our books - ideal presents

John and Val Harrison's Books
 

*

Growster...

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Location: Hawkhurst, Kent
  • 10041
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #3802 on: June 23, 2019, 17:50 »
I was thinking of having another tattoo this year. But I'm not too keen on the bagpipes, and I don't think our garden is big enough...

*

Pescador

  • Senior Member
  • ****
  • Location: Miskin, Pontyclun, S.Wales
  • 512
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #3803 on: June 23, 2019, 18:00 »
It'll be a few more weeks before it's safe for a few days only.
Then back in the box with me!!
Dog in box.png

*

rogerbodger

  • Senior Member
  • ****
  • Location: Bedfordshire
  • 611
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #3804 on: June 24, 2019, 17:55 »
A man rushed into the doctor's surgery and shouted, "Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!"

The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down. You'll just have to be a little patient."

*

DanielCoffey

  • Experienced Member
  • ***
  • Location: South Ayrshire, UK
  • 441
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #3805 on: June 25, 2019, 10:28 »
What sort of dog do you want in the kitchen when you are making Strawberry Jam?

A Setter.

*

mrs bouquet

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Location: Worthing,West Sussex
  • 3196
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #3806 on: June 25, 2019, 13:56 »
Oh boy, do I need some laughs at the moment  :ohmy:  Mrs B
Dux Femina Facti

Sometimes my mind wanders, if found please return.

*

rogerbodger

  • Senior Member
  • ****
  • Location: Bedfordshire
  • 611
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #3807 on: June 25, 2019, 19:06 »
As the lumberjack started to swing at the tree it suddenly shouted, “Wait! I’m a talking tree!”
The lumberjack grinned and said, “And you will dialogue!”

*

rogerbodger

  • Senior Member
  • ****
  • Location: Bedfordshire
  • 611
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #3808 on: July 02, 2019, 18:53 »
Did you hear about the limo driver who was in business for 25 years without a single customer?
All that time and nothing to chauffeur it.

*

Growster...

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Location: Hawkhurst, Kent
  • 10041
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #3809 on: July 03, 2019, 05:54 »
Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called in a repairman.
 
Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman,
"I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check.
Oh, by the way don't worry about my dog Spike. He won't bother you."

"But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!"

"I MUST STRESS TO YOU: DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!"

When the repairman arrived at Wanda 's apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking dog he has ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work, occasionally licking his paws, and rolling over.

The parrot, however, drove him absolutely nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling.

Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled, "Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!"

To which the parrot replied: -

"Get him Spike!"

See - Men just don't listen!



xx
Deliveries? You're having a laugh!

Started by Goosegirl on Chatting on the Plot

11 Replies
1656 Views
Last post December 31, 2017, 19:23
by Christine
xx
laugh or cry .... you decide.

Started by Lardman on Chatting on the Plot

45 Replies
2730 Views
Last post January 16, 2019, 13:26
by Goosegirl
xx
Peoples funny names

Started by mrs bouquet on Chatting on the Plot

6 Replies
530 Views
Last post December 10, 2018, 15:51
by DanielCoffey
xx
how many give up after first year?

Started by Offwego on Chatting on the Plot

24 Replies
3293 Views
Last post January 07, 2018, 11:14
by Yorkshire Lass
 

Page created in 0.083 seconds with 53 queries.

Powered by SMFPacks SEO Pro Mod |