WHAT PETS WRITE IN THEIR DIARIES.....

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hillfooter

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WHAT PETS WRITE IN THEIR DIARIES.....
« on: November 06, 2009, 16:35 »
Some one sent me this today thought you might find it amusing to speculate on what chx might write in theres?
 
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WHAT PETS WRITE IN THEIR DIARIES.....

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary......

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with my people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!


Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary...

 Day 983 of my captivity...

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.  

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.  
 
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.  In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.  I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of.  However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.  

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There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight.  I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.  However, I could hear the noises and smell the food.  I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.'  I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking.  I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.  The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return.  He is obviously retarded.
 
The bird has got to be an informant.  I observe him communicating with the guards regularly.  I am certain that he reports my every move.  My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.  For now...

 
Truth through science.

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too many girls

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Re: WHAT PETS WRITE IN THEIR DIARIES.....
« Reply #1 on: November 06, 2009, 16:49 »
 :lol: :lol: :lol:

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Rubellite

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Re: WHAT PETS WRITE IN THEIR DIARIES.....
« Reply #2 on: November 06, 2009, 18:00 »
Excellent!  :)

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joyfull

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Re: WHAT PETS WRITE IN THEIR DIARIES.....
« Reply #3 on: November 06, 2009, 18:03 »
so true  :lol: :lol:
Staffies are softer than you think.

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raeburg

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Re: WHAT PETS WRITE IN THEIR DIARIES.....
« Reply #4 on: November 06, 2009, 19:26 »
lol!  brilliant  :lol:

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chickenlady

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Re: WHAT PETS WRITE IN THEIR DIARIES.....
« Reply #5 on: November 06, 2009, 20:12 »
Chickens diary!
6am out of bed
POOP
7am Scratch about
POOP
7.30am feel like laying! FALSE ALARM
POOP
7.35am announce that i nearly laid an egg!
POOP
8am scratch about
POOP
8.05am BREAKFAST
POOP
8.30am feel like laying! FALSE ALARM
POOP
8.35am announce that i nearly laid an egg!
POOP
9am scratch about
POOP
9.05am lay my egg!
POOP
9.10am announce my egg to the world
POOP
9.15am announce my sisters egg along with her!
POOP
9.30am scratch about
POOP
10am dust bath time!
POOP
11am scratch about
POOP
12pm LUNCH
POOP
12.30pm little doze!
POOP
1pm-4pm lots of scratching around, dozing, few squabbles, dozing, scratching around! indespersed with quite a few POOPS!
4pm DINNER
POOP
4.30pm Bedtime!
POOPS (LOTS OF!)
thinks her guardian angel`s gone on strike !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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treacleminer

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Re: WHAT PETS WRITE IN THEIR DIARIES.....
« Reply #6 on: November 06, 2009, 20:23 »
Brilliant Chickenlady! :D :D :D


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Rubellite

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Re: WHAT PETS WRITE IN THEIR DIARIES.....
« Reply #7 on: November 06, 2009, 21:03 »
 :lol: :lol: :lol:

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kitkat

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Re: WHAT PETS WRITE IN THEIR DIARIES.....
« Reply #8 on: November 06, 2009, 22:19 »
Brilliant- the old saying ' dogs look up to you but cats look down on you' is sooo true;well it is in this house anyway :lol:
     Chickenlady, i think you forgot the ' lets stalk mommy for 3 hours until she brings our treats' . You may have left a few poops out :lol:
We have 17 chickens, 3 quail, 2 dogs, 3 cats and that's enough (for this week)

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New shoot

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Re: WHAT PETS WRITE IN THEIR DIARIES.....
« Reply #9 on: November 07, 2009, 13:15 »
Plod's diary ?

Day 7 and have got AmandaH really worried now.........my plan of pretending to hibernate, stopping eating every so often and fixing her with my beady reptilian eye is reaping great rewards.  Just a few more days and I will have total control mmmmwwwhhhhaarrrrggghhh

Sorry Amanda  ;)  :lol:

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AmandaH

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Re: WHAT PETS WRITE IN THEIR DIARIES.....
« Reply #10 on: November 07, 2009, 17:11 »
No, you're right New shoot.  Convinced that Plod is more cunning and evil than all the cats put together.  He'd make a great Bond villain.  Or a Bond villain's sidekick  :D

He was awake today and, in a moment of weakness, I let him come indoors.  I put him on the floor of the lounge and he started roaming about.  This freaked out my daughter who decided that the best idea was to contain him with some of her wooden building blocks.  That didn't work - he just pushed them over and carried on.  Relentless, that Plod.  So (tortoise lovers stop reading now) Annie decided that the best place for him was in her doll's pram.  Plod spent an (un)happy half hour being pushed around the house before I decided that he'd probably report us to the RSPCT or something and returned him to his bed.  I should have taken a photo though - he did look monumentally p'd off.

And, yes, his plan to drive me completely dilly by 6 January is coming along nicely.  However, I might have some help now (see Plod thread) so his plan might yet be foiled! Ha ha ha ha (hysterical laughter)...

Love the Diary chickenlady - but not sure there was anywhere near enough POOP.  Cleaned out my girls today, with Annie helping (in between tormenting Plod).  She was finding the worms and sharing them out around the chooks, shouting "Naughty chicken!" if one stole a worm that was meant for another.

Hubby might be away, but it's all go around here!  :D

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arugula

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Re: WHAT PETS WRITE IN THEIR DIARIES.....
« Reply #11 on: November 07, 2009, 19:33 »
Oh Amanda!  :lol: you could write a book on the back of this!
"They say a snow year's a good year" -- Rutherford.



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