OK, so if this is the jock section, this made me laugh as a duck owner, someone who has been stung by the vet and someone who spends a lot of time explaining to people why they don't need tests that we already know the answer to! Practical Poultry please don't sue me for breach of copyright as that is were I read it - consider it free advertising-
A woman took a very limp duck to the vet. As she lay it on the table, the vet took out his stethoscope and listened to the birds chest. He shook his head sadly and said "I'm sorry, Cuddles has passed away."
" Are you sure?" wailed the distressed owner.
" Yes" replied the vet " The duck is dead." But the owner persisted: "How can you be sure? You haven't done any testing or anything. He might just be in a coma"
The vet rolled his eyes and left the room and returned with a black laborador. As the ducks owner watched in amazement the dog sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog, took him out of the room and returned with a beautiful cat.
This jumped up next to the duck, sniffed delicately at the bird then sat back on its haunches, shook its head and miowed softly and strolled calmly from the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said "I'm sorry but , as I said, this duck is most definately 100% dead." He looked at his computer and said "That will be £150."
The shocked owner said "£150 just to tell me that my duck is dead!"
The vet shrugged and said "I'm sorry but if you had taken my word for it the bill would have been £20, but with the lab test and the CAT scan...."
