[WirralWally]

Benjamin Franklin is famously quoted as having said “ . . in the world nothing can be said to be certain except death and taxes."

I was having a chat with a fellow grower about what we can be certain of (in the world of veg growing) following us reading the questions and answers on here.
For every suggestion or opinion there appears to be a contradiction.

So, for fun, we started a list of ‘certainties’, which I’m sure that most of us could add to.

In no particular order we came up with the following:-

. Courgettes will become marrows as soon as you turn your back.
. Runner beans always drop flowers; appear to have no beans; then flourish overnight
. Slugs do SAS training in camouflage and concealment
. Carrots would attract root fly even if planted on your roof
. Whatever you think is the ‘right way’, some 'old guy' will tell you is wrong
. You never find black fly until you have an infestation
. Cabbage White butterflies can squeeze through the eye of a needle
. It’s always ‘someone else’ who can create perfect compost
. If you water, it rains. If you don’t, the sun shines
. Everyone has heard of a veg grower somewhere who can grow everything perfectly
. Nobody knows who he or she is

Our list went on and on but, rather than bore you all with it, I’ll hand the thread over to other suggestions.

[doubledug]

everything runs to seed eventually, and not just in the world of vegetables. And if you dont mind can i modify your observation about the cabbage white should it not say it can pass through the eye of a needle, apparently without folding its wings

[JayG]

There is no such thing as believing you have finally perfected the art of growing vegetable "X" !

[mumofstig]

cos the weather can always throw a spanner in the works, just when you think you have it sussed 

[Christine]

List sounds similar to the ways of allotments here too.

[arugula]

Nice one, WW! 

[radiohead]

There are few greater pleasures in life than having to 'old boy' on the site saying you are doing it all wrong, and then at the end of the season yours looks better than his!!

[JayG]

Even though I'm incredibly young ( ) I'm still worried about all these "cantankerous allotment old boy" comments we keep getting; aren't there any nice, helpful, but not pushy old boys out there?

[mumofstig]

Got some lovely and helpful OBs on my plot, including the sweetie who is site rep

Haven't met a nasty one yet. I've only had one say, 'don't do that'.....and then when I've said why I'm doing it.....he said 'ok, it sounds like you know what you're doing'   

[SUTTY1]

Is their any site policy as to when you become a OldBoy? Not sure which side off the fence i'm on! Maybe i'll just sit on the fence and put up with the splinters same as i put up with mares tail when i've got no horses!!

[doubledug]

I thought you became an old boy when you are looked upon with approving eyes by the committee, Please let me be forever young