You're not far off with your wife's wardrobe! Get some spare coat-hangers and attach your strung onions to it, then see if she's got an old T-shirt or similar that you can put your pots in and hang them up with another hanger. You now need to find a cool place so how's your attic, loft, cellar or basement? If all else fails, get a cheap second-hand large fridge and set it to its highest temperature.