[Trillium]

    Good one, Richy.

[JayG]

Like a lot of my jokes this one is running out of time to still be understood by a reasonable percentage of the population!   


An ex WW2 Polish air-ace is invited to talk to a group of 8 year-old schoolkids about his wartime experiences.

He was involved in the Battle of Britain and began to describe what happened one day high over the English Channel: "All of a sudden from out of the sun we saw these three fokkers..........."

A ripple of sniggers started to propagate itself around the classroom so the teacher thought she should intervene: "I think I should point out here that the "Fokker" was a type of aeroplane used by the Germans during the war".

She apologised to her guest for the interruption and asked him to continue.

"Well, these three fokkers in their Messerschmidts........"

[plot6b]

Like a lot of my jokes this one is running out of time to still be understood by a reasonable percentage of the population!   


An ex WW2 Polish air-ace is invited to talk to a group of 8 year-old schoolkids about his wartime experiences.

He was involved in the Battle of Britain and began to describe what happened one day high over the English Channel: "All of a sudden from out of the sun we saw these three fokkers..........."

A ripple of sniggers started to propagate itself around the classroom so the teacher thought she should intervene: "I think I should point out here that the "Fokker" was a type of aeroplane used by the Germans during the war".

She apologised to her guest for the interruption and asked him to continue.

"Well, these three fokkers in their Messerschmidts........"

I'm not that old(ish) JayG but I like that one

[Aunt Sally]

A little to close to the limit that one JayG 

They have to be "genteel" enough for Aunty.

[mrs bouquet]

Mary had a little lamb,
Her father shot it dead,
Now she takes the lamb to school
sliced between her bread.


Not meant to offend anybody - he didn't really shoot it - its just a laugh, Mrs Bouquet

[8doubles]

I`m offended .

Mary had a little lamb
she tied it to a pylon
10,000 volts shot up its bum
and turned it`s wool to nylon.

[Gwiz]

Mary had a little bike,
she rode it on the grass,
and every time the wheels went 'round,
the spokes did whip her........

[JayG]

Nice joke for Auntie (no norty words and not sexist either!)

Q: What's "E.T." short for?




A: Because he's only got little legs!

[HugglescoteGrower]

mary had a little bike
she road it back to front
and




sorry, just remembered the ending, best go no further

[davethespread]

mary had a little lamb
she also had some new potatoes,fresh garden peas and gravy

[JayG]

One for MoreWhisky and Plum:

Mary had a litte lamb,
It had a touch of colic,
She fed it whisky every day,
And now it's alcoholic!

[hamstergbert]

Mary had a little lamb
'Twas colourblind, and so
It couldn't tell the red from green,
And which was 'Stop' or 'Go'.
It followed her to school one day,
(A silly thing to do)
It tried to cross against the lights:
Wallop!  Mutton stew!

[davethespread]

i dont use book marks,i just bend the bottom corner over,works better i think.

which is a turn up for the books

[Trillium]

A THOUGHTFUL SCOTTISH HUSBAND?

Did you hear about the thoughtful Scotsman who was heading out to the pub? He turned to his wee wife before leaving and said, 'Maggie - put your hat and coat on, lassie.'

She replied, ' Awe Jock that's nice - are you taking me tae the pub with you?'

'Nay, Jock replied, I'm switching the heat off while I'm out.'

[plum crumble]

 
you lot!!!