[joyfull]

I saw that last year on the Mythbusters TV programe - frozen chickens do make a big hole in windshields 

[hamstergbert]

Surely it would have made more sense to test their frozen chicken gun against airliners. After all if a chicken were to be flying at 30,000 feet given a standard adiabatic lapse rate of about 3 degrees centigrade per thousand feet that would make it about minus 60 even on a really hot summer day at ground level.  Furhtermore the chicken would feel the cold and go "Brr", pulling it's wings in close to try and warm up thus making it almost as streamlined as one from the freezer cabinet.  Furthermore, as being at minus 60 at 30000 feet would be, er, really, really scary for a chicken it would probably be 'lighter' if you get my drift, hence closer still to the ex freezer 'pulled' bird weight and so rendering the exercise pretty valid, at least as regards high flying uninsulated chickens. Aint science wunnerful.




I don't get out much.

[Yorkie]

I don't get out much.

No?  I'd never have guessed  (just teasing)  

[DD.]

I have had to remove a large section from this thread relating to the current situation in Japan.

Frankly I am disappointed that some members of this forum feel that it is something to be light-hearted about. I would have hoped for better.

[Ma and Pa Snip]

An elderly man approached an attractive lady in a shopping precinct,
"Excuse me; I can't seem to find my wife. Would you mind talking to me for a couple of minutes"

The woman, feeling a little compassion for the old chap, said 
"Of course I don't mind, do you know where your wife might be"?

"I've no idea, but whenever I talk to a lady with a figure like yours she appears out of nowhere"

[savbo]

at school, 30 years ago, a metallurgist gave a talk to the sixth form and told us about a frozen chicken gun used to simulate vulture strikes (bigger than frozen chickens but softer) on jet turbine blades...the vultures accumulate around airfields to eat the cooked pigeons etc that go through the turbines without causing damage...I believed him at the time but if it's an urban myth it's got a long pedigree...

[Thrift]

I have had to remove a large section from this thread relating to the current situation in Japan.

Frankly I am disappointed that some members of this forum feel that it is something to be light-hearted about. I would have hoped for better.

I'm completely shocked DD  Good for you in removing the offending posts.

[andy135]

Two confirmed bachelors sat talking, their conversation drifted from politics to cooking. "I got a cookbook once," said one, "but I could never do anything with it." "Too much fancy work in it, eh?" asked the other. "You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way -
 'Take a clean dish."

[Paul Plots]

A Terrible Joke..... not sure it's even funny but here goes.....

A woman walks into a benefits office, trailed by 15 kids...

'WOW,' the social worker exclaims, 'Are they ALL yours?

'Yeah they are all mine,' the flustered mother sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before. She says, 'Sit down Terry .'
All the children rush to find seats.

'Well,' says the social worker, 'then you must be here to sign up.  I'll need all your children's names.'

'This one's my oldest - he is Terry .'

'OK, and who's next?'

'Well, this one he is Terry , also.'

The social worker raises an eyebrow but continues. One by one, through the oldest four, all boys, all named Terry . Then she is introduced to the eldest girl, named Terri. 'All right,' says the caseworker. 'I'm seeing a pattern here. Are they ALL named Terri?'

Their Mother replied, 'Well, yes-it makes it easier. When it is time to get them out of bed and ready for school, I yell, ' Terry !' An' When it's time for dinner, I just yell ' Terry !' an' they all come runnin.' An' if I need to stop the kid who's running into the street, I just yell ' Terry ' and all of them stop. It's the smartest idea I ever had, namin' them all Terry .'

The social worker thinks this over for a bit, then wrinkles her forehead and says tentatively, 'But what if you just want ONE kid to come, and not the whole bunch?'

'I call them by their surnames!' 

[Jamie Butterworth]

I've been spending quite a lot of time at my wife's grave recently, don't tell her though, she thinks I'm digging a pond.

[elibump]

 

[Gandan57]

A man asked his wife how many men she`d slept with.

She replied proudly. "You`re the only one darling...... all the others kept me awake".

[MJS]

I was driving this morning when I saw an RAC van parked up. The driver was
sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable. I thought to myself,

'that guy's heading for a breakdown.'

[John]

I used to believe in free will, but I'm married now.

[Trillium]

I haven't spoken to my husband for a year and a half. I hate to interrupt him.