[Paul Plots]

police in ireland today found a mass grave of snowmen,after further investigations it turned out to be a field of carrots......

It's taken me until now to work this one out ... sorry, lots of blond moments collected together here!

Worth it though... eh? 

[Yorkie]

Oh dear.

What do you use as a nose on a snowman?

Aaaahhhhhh 

[Dabhand]

New Element Discovered!

A major research institution recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science.

The element, tentatively named Administratium, has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of 0. However, it does have 1 neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice-neutrons, and 111 assistant vice-neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together in the nucleus by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. 

Since Administratium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected chemically as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Administratium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally take less than a second. 

Researchers at other labs indicated that Administratium occurs naturally in the atmosphere. It tends to concentrate at certain points, such as universities, government agencies, large corporations, and schools. The element can be found in the newest, best-appointed, and best-maintained buildings.

Scientists point out that Administratium is known to be toxic at any level of concentration, and can easily destroy any productive reactions where it is allowed to accumulate.

Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately 3 years.  It does not actually decay, but instead undergoes reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons, vice-neutrons, and assistant vice-neutrons exchange place. Some studies have shown that the atomic mass actually increased after each reorganization
due to some morons becoming neutrons, forming isodopes.

This moron-promoting characteristic has led some scientists to speculate that Administratium is formed whenever morons reach a
certain quantity in concentration. 

This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass." You'll know it when you see it...
Attempts are being made to determine how Administratium can be controlled to prevent irreversible damage, but results are not promising

 

[Paul Plots]

With the cuts being planned nationally it could be a very small particle    

[Paul Plots]

Short Neurological Test

   


   1 - Find the C below, Please do not use any cursor help.   


OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

2 - If you already found the C, now find the 6 below.

99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
69999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999

3 - Now find the N below. It's a little more difficult.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMNMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

If you were able to pass these 3 tests, you can cancel your annual visit to your neurologist.  Your brain is great and you're far from having a close relationship with Alzheimer.

Congratulations!
                                      If you can't - a trip to the opticians should put it right. 

[horsepooisgood]

New Element Discovered!

A major research institution recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science.

The element, tentatively named Administratium, has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of 0. However, it does have 1 neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice-neutrons, and 111 assistant vice-neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together in the nucleus by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. 

Since Administratium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected chemically as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Administratium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally take less than a second. 

Researchers at other labs indicated that Administratium occurs naturally in the atmosphere. It tends to concentrate at certain points, such as universities, government agencies, large corporations, and schools. The element can be found in the newest, best-appointed, and best-maintained buildings.

Scientists point out that Administratium is known to be toxic at any level of concentration, and can easily destroy any productive reactions where it is allowed to accumulate.

Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately 3 years.  It does not actually decay, but instead undergoes reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons, vice-neutrons, and assistant vice-neutrons exchange place. Some studies have shown that the atomic mass actually increased after each reorganization
due to some morons becoming neutrons, forming isodopes.

This moron-promoting characteristic has led some scientists to speculate that Administratium is formed whenever morons reach a
certain quantity in concentration. 

This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass." You'll know it when you see it...
Attempts are being made to determine how Administratium can be controlled to prevent irreversible damage, but results are not promising

 

Are you sure its proper name is not Headteacher!!

[SkipRat]

Because of my mood swings, my wife has bought me a new Mood Ring. I,ve worn it for three weeks now and we,ve concluded that if it turns green it means i,m in a good mood, but if i,m in a bad mood it leaves a red mark on her fore head....

[Paul Plots]

"Are you sure its proper name is not Headteacher!!"

Whoops, horsepooisgood....    :blink:

                                           extra homework for you then!! 

[John]

How many Manx people does it take to change a light bulb?

None - they don't like change on the Isle of Man  :blink:

[joyfull]

That's factual John not a joke 

[aelf]

how many psychoanalyists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but the lightbulb has really got to want to change 

[TheEnglishman]

Ok - if we're doing lightbulb jokes...


Q: How many gardeners does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Three. One to change it and two to have a debate about whether this is the right time of year to be putting in bulbs of any sort.


Q: How many forum users does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Eleven. One to post 'How to change a lightbulb'. One to ask to be sent pics on how to do it. Eight more to say "ME TOO!", and another to post a message asking for the intructions on how to view a lightbulb.

[John]

Q: How many forum users does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Eleven. One to post 'How to change a lightbulb'. One to ask to be sent pics on how to do it. Eight more to say "ME TOO!", and another to post a message asking for the intructions on how to view a lightbulb.

That's too true 

[aelf]

how many teenage girls to change a light bulb?

Just one, she holds the bulb and waits for the world to revolve around her 

[mumofstig]

that is factual as well!