Allotment Gardening Advice Help Chat
Poultry and Pets => Chicken Chat => Topic started by: Lottie Mary on March 10, 2011, 07:45
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Does anyone have any pointers about how to convince a spouse that chickens are a good idea?? My husband says he is "vehemently" opposed to me getting chickens!!! :(
But I really think that keeping chickens would be a fantastic experience for the whole family. We have two children aged 10 and 9 and so far we've not been able to have standard pets because my son has asthma and has been allergic to cats, dogs, etc. My family always had chickens when I was growing up in America and helping look after them was one of my fondest childhood memories.
If anyone has had a similar experience, I'd be grateful to hear what changed your spouses mind! I've been going on about chickens for well over a year now and he's just not having it!
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I would take your son with asthma (and your husband) to a local back yard poultry keeper (perhaps somebody on here may live local to you) and see if your son is ok being close to chickens. Some people can still be allergic to feathers. My husband wasn't too keen but I just got them anyway (I have asthma but now only mild) and my husband eventually came around especially when I got sabelpoots as they are so cute and chatty little birds. Now I am just trying to convince him that pigs are just as cute :lol:
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My dad said 'no never any pets' 25 pets ago, they can always be convinced! For the chickens, I promised to do everything for them & that he'd never even notice they were there, he'd just have some nice eggs appearing!
For a lot of the other pets they just appeared magically in the house one day, me & my brother went out to the supermarket with my mum a few years ago & ended up coming back with two hamsters and a snake, it's easier to get forgiveness than permission!
He loves the chickens now and the rest of the crew! (I think he's secretly looking forward to our baby chickens arriving next week!)
Good luck =D
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it's easier to get forgiveness than permission!
I like this philosophy!!!
Re the asthma problem - I don't thnk this will be an issue, because it seems to only be pets living inside the house that cause a problem. As much as I would love these chickens, I wouldn't let them roost inside the house :tongue2:
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I don't normally but when they are ill and need bringinging into the warmth I brink them in :lol:. However you really should see how your son is with handling them - just to check this closeness has no ill effects.
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I second the idea of taking him to the home of another back-yard chicken keeper and showing him the reality (of course the reality is likely to be a freshly cleaned coop if they know you're coming :D)
My OH wasn't (still isn't) keen on having chickens but a visit to a friend's mum to see her little silkies and assorted bantams was a pleasant experience and won him over a bit. But don't expect him to ever be as fond of them as you are.
My OH has been out to the run one single time since I got the chickens 12 days ago. He looked over the fence at them, asked what breeds they are, then went back indoors. We have agreed he will never need to go in the run. I have an Aunt who has offered to come over and feed them if I have to be away from home.
The thing that won my OH over the most is the persuasive economic argument I presented. :) I prepared a comprehensive spreadsheet showing all the expenses involved. Since we eat a lot of eggs and always buy free-range organic, I have told him we will break even in 18 months. But since then I have built the coop completely out of reclaimed materials so we should do better than predicted. But I dread the idea of any of the girls needing vet treatment! :(
Now I do have to say if I was "vehemently" opposed to my partner doing something, then he went ahead and did it anyway, I would be pretty upset. Why does your hubby feel this way? Can you do anything to put his mind at ease?
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Even if he is allergic to the feathers, I had a lady contact me through my blog and she was saying that she was allergic to chickens, and was really upseet as she loves them.
Then she found that she wasn't allergic to silkies who's 'feathers' are more furry. Now she breeds them. So there is usually a way around things.
First I would make a list of why you DO want them and why hubby DOESN'T. Then work from that. He will have the freshest tastiest eggs going for a start, if well looked after they don't smell, and if you don't have a cockerel they don't usually make much noise. There's a start!
Good luck!
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He says his reasons for being opposed are:-
1. foxes (OK, I acknowledge this is a concern)
2. noise (I don't see this as an issue because I'm only talking about getting chickens, not a cockerel)
I have a few friends who keep chickens, so I think I will take my son round to see how he reacts and then take it from there.
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hens can be almost as noisy when they have laid their egg - they just want to let everybody know they have done their bit :lol:
Good luck with your son and the chicken test - fingers crossed :)
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My partner was positivly enthusiastic when she found out we could raise "chicks"
Might not work on a bloke though...
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Fox proof the area, also keeps out rats.
Some breeds are quietier, Popcorn, my bantam, is very noisy at times, the other 3 are quiet.
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I didn't tell my husband, I just got on and got them. I knew that if I'd asked him he would have said "no" or he would have wanted to build a coop/run etc and it would have taken 10 years. I got an Eglu, put it up on my own, and went off to fetch the hens. They were installed and pecking at the grass by the time he came home.
I clean them out, feed them etc but he will, at the weekend, go and let them out and give them their breakfast :)
When he first saw them he scowled and went indoors but he came round and he does like them now. He was my hero when they were attacked by a fox. It was he who ran out to rescue them and clonked the fox on the head with a torch :lol:
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"He was my hero when they were attacked by a fox. It was he who ran out to rescue them and clonked the fox on the head with a torch "
I must admit, I'm slightly trepitatious of the idea that I might find myself stood naked in the back garden with a spade, a half dead fox and a flock of paniced chickens....
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I didn't tell my husband, I just got on and got them. I knew that if I'd asked him he would have said "no" or he would have wanted to build a coop/run etc and it would have taken 10 years. I got an Eglu, put it up on my own, and went off to fetch the hens. They were installed and pecking at the grass by the time he came home.
I clean them out, feed them etc but he will, at the weekend, go and let them out and give them their breakfast :)
When he first saw them he scowled and went indoors but he came round and he does like them now. He was my hero when they were attacked by a fox. It was he who ran out to rescue them and clonked the fox on the head with a torch :lol:
I have thought about this - just getting them and telling him after the fact. I suppose I just want him to be enthusiastic about the idea as I am. It's hard enough getting him to my allotment to help me dig! Most of the time it's just me and my 9 year old bundled up digging away! The more I research chickens and chicken housing, the more I want them!
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My Hubby wasn't very keen at first but knew I would get them anyway :tongue2: Now I think he nearly cares about them as much as I do :D He automatically lets them out when he is working early and regularly poo picks and sweeps up the mess they make. He is working near London this week and the first thing he says is "how are the Girls". AND he loves the freshest ever eggs for breakfast :lol: :lol:
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My old man never goes near my plot either :)
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Go all out to get some pigs and then plead that all it needs is some chickens to have home grown bacon and eggs. When he objects to the pigs ask if you can still have the chucks then.
R
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Hi
My husband said "There's definitely no hens coming here" "Not fair on the two Jack Russells etc" :(
I bought the Haynes chicken manual, left it lying around, he was soon looking at the different breeds.
I talked a lot about coops and foxes etc.
He soon started to accept that we were going to get some.
He went with me and helped me pick them and he now loves them and talks to them when he comes home every night and calls them 'the girls' :)
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Hi Lottie Mary, I sympathise with you - it took me 6 yrs to get my husband to agree and actually I wish I had just gone and gotten them. My husband loves them now (we have had them since late Oct) and I often find him having a cuddle with the youngest girl. I know how much he loves the eggs and I think that had a bit to do with it too! If you have room, choose the breed carefully and you are prepared to be the only one to look after them while your hubby comes around, then I think you should have another chat with him and then get some ;) As a mother of two and owner of two Jack russells too, it's all been very smooth and I love my girls more every day!! Lots of luck!! ;) ;)
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My Hubby wasn't very keen at first but knew I would get them anyway :tongue2: Now I think he nearly cares about them as much as I do :D He automatically lets them out when he is working early and regularly poo picks and sweeps up the mess they make. He is working near London this week and the first thing he says is "how are the Girls". AND he loves the freshest ever eggs for breakfast :lol: :lol:
Jinty, my hubby also works out of town at least 3 days a week, which is one of the reasons I insisted on the chickens for company!
I have been trying very hard not to go on about the chickens all the time as I know he's been getting bored with the topic. But the other night he phoned home and asked, "how are the chickens?" I with-held my squeal of delight and managed to answer very calmly! :lol:
Here are some more ways in which I used logic and emotion to manipulate encourage my hubby to agree to chickens.
Some things that put him off were:
- The idea of poo on the deck. [Is that why they call it a poop deck?]
My solution: I have promised not to encourage them onto the deck. I will also wash off any poo right away. - He worked with a woman who was often late to work because "the chickens escaped again" and she had spent all morning chasing them around the neighbourhood.
My solution: choosing docile breeds, putting effort into keeping them calm and manageable, pointing out to hubby that this woman's children are also little monsters so it might have something to do with the way she's bringing them up! - The thought that we can never go away because we have to care for the chickens.
My solution: A dear old Aunt who is positively keen to look after them when we're away, and building relationships with neighbours who might be able to step in if there's an emergency.
My hubby is also a bit of a greenie, so I armed myself with information about the role of backyard poultry in sustanable food production, the wonderful benefits for our vege garden, and the parallels between heritage poultry breeds and heritage seeds vs modern hybrids and industrialisation of our food supply. :blink:
I also pointed out how we can provide fresh eggs for my lovely Aunt and his Dear Old Ma who's in her 80s and loves baking for her grand-kids. I told him how eggs fresh from our garden will be wonderful for her health and how he will be her favourite son for providing them! :lol:
For someone who has children it might be worth tracking down research that shows how pets can help children to learn empathy and responsibility, and give them skills that they can use in later life.
Poor hubbies. They really don't stand a chance do they? :wub:
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Hubby came home from work tonight and I gave him a big hug. He smiled and laughed and said "no chickens" hee hee :tongue2:
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keep working on him, but don't make it too obvious! :D :D
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Keep working on him, my OH was'nt keen at first it took me over a year to say yes and now we have 6 and he thinks they are great
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Try just one (on loan from your friend but no need to discuss that at home....is there) and see how it goes. ;)
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tell him -
all children should have the chance to be involved with pet care, it teaches them how to care for smaller things, responsibility and patience (? :unsure: )
I was brought up with animals about, so I 'need' feathered and 4 legged friends, OH's family never had a pet, and it shows! He is very good, and helps when needed, but there is no real feeling there, he seems to think everything should be in battery cages (or he could be just winding me up :) )
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tell him -
all children should have the chance to be involved with pet care, it teaches them how to care for smaller things, responsibility and patience (? :unsure: )
I was brought up with animals about, so I 'need' feathered and 4 legged friends, OH's family never had a pet, and it shows! He is very good, and helps when needed, but there is no real feeling there, he seems to think everything should be in battery cages (or he could be just winding me up :) )
I've been trying to work that one out. In my case it's easy - my first pet was a bantam named Snowy when I was about 4 years old. Of course I was programmed from that moment to want chickens! But my OH had pets too yet he seems to have a real dislike of animals around the house. :(
In adulthood he has never had a pet and his daughter was never allowed one. That's still a sore point and she's just turned 31! :lol:
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My OH was not too keen he felt they would be an encumbrance and ruin his garden lol
We have now said we are sorry we did not find out how good it was to have chickens when our little ones were younger. They are far easier to keep than rabbits or guinea pigs and you get something back from them. They respond to you when you go to the garden just in case you give them treats lol.
I got a 'cheap' coop from ebay by mistake ish. then it took another week for me to convince him to buy some hens. I found some 'cheap' hens and fetched three home. he rarely cleans them out but regularly sneaks out with left overs for them.
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In adulthood he has never had a pet and his daughter was never allowed one. That's still a sore point and she's just turned 31!
out of curiosity - does she want or keep anything now?
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In adulthood he has never had a pet and his daughter was never allowed one. That's still a sore point and she's just turned 31!
out of curiosity - does she want or keep anything now?
No, she has still never had a pet. She has recently returned from working in London (as Kiwi youngsters often do in their 20s) and is in the process of settling down with a lovely lad from Leeds, so it will be interesting to see if they get pets once they have settled.
In her last flat (in NZ) one of her flatmates got a pet pig! :blink: Turns out pigs aren't really suited to life in the central city. Who would have guessed?! ::) So piggy got re-homed after about a month.
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It was the other way round in my house, my wife was adamant we weren't getting chickens but I went ahead anyway. I just started with 3 so it didn't seem too overwhelming. I think it helped that her mother was quite keen on the idea, what about his mother? can you get her on side? It didn't take long for me to catch her out in the garden talking to them, and now she admits they are the best "pets" we've ever had, even when they're being naughty and wrecking her garden plants!
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Poor hubbies. They really don't stand a chance do they? :wub:
There are some men who understand women, but of course, they are no longer hubbies. :D
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I was said no to hens when my wife asked. But eventually agreed, and wondered why We didn get them sooner,Has ur oh said why? I would make sure u have a decen size run if your oh likes gardening as they will ruin the beds(we learnt the hard way) and agree who is doing what with regards to cleaning etc as suggested take him to a hen place and let him have a look
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"No more chickens!" my mother insisted......as we went out of the door, clambered in the old car and drove off.
"Just looking" my father assured her.
It was me who proudly carried the box of 25 day-old chicks in through the front-door every time.... but a 5 yr old can get away with all-sorts! :happy:
Do you know any who might help. :lol:
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My Hubby had a pet hedgehog and it wasn't even allowed in the house :lol: :lol: Just phoned him in London and asked why he let me get chickens and he said that I could have a Donkey in the back garden if it made me happy :lol: :lol: But he knew I would get them anyway. How about saying "I am getting chickens tomorrow. Do you want a divorce now or do you want to wait till they start laying?" :D :D
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Aaaww Jinty that's lovely (that your hubby wants you to be happy - not thae suggestion about a divorce! :blink:)
I think you should test your hubby by having a donkey in the backyard when he gets back from London.
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Jinty - I'm going to send my husband to yours for teaching! :lol:
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:lol: :lol:
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Poor hubbies. They really don't stand a chance do they? :wub:
There are some men who understand women, but of course, they are no longer hubbies. :D
:lol: :lol: That's why I'm on No 3 :lol: :lol:
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Just phoned him in London and asked why he let me get chickens and he said that I could have a Donkey in the back garden if it made me happy
I'm still wondering why My OH agreed to goats, I think it's a case of 'anything to stop me complaining he's never here' :D (doesn't stop me tho)
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I do agree that you can't just get them without his approval (not permission, just a grunt of "okay" will eb enough)
You need to get a book - there are loads on the shop part of this site, and read it, and get him to read it (leave it lying around in the bathroom, that'll get him to read it ::) )
take your family to a local farm, or to a chicken keeper who lives nearby.
tell his mum and dad that you are thinking about it.
buy some eggs from a gate (small chook keeper like us!), and when you cook them, comment about how creamy they are and how orange the yolk!