What a waste of money

Years ago I bought something called a weed claw (or something similar). It was a rolling head with  sharp wedges that you pushed with a sort of rake handle, and it was supposed to clear weeds from veg patches. What they didn't tell you after you paid out the hefty sum was that the weeds couldn't be more than an inch tall and had to be well spaced apart. Who has a patch with that few weeds? Totally useless. All it was good for was aerating crusted (and clear) soil surfaces, no weeding whatsoever 

I was given a cultivation tool which was a copy of a much more expensive version (which was painted gold if I remember correctly.)

It was all steel, with a T handle, and 3 or 4 bent prongs at the business end - the idea was you could cultivate and weed standing up by twisting the handle to and fro - it didn't actually do anything you can't do with a simple border fork, and the constant twisting action quickly produced some worrying twinges in my lower back!   

Last reported to be enjoying its early retirement somewhere in the darkest, dustiest, most spider-ridden far corner of my shed! 

Think you could be onto something there Growster, particularly when it comes to generating electricity. 

What I'm thinking is if I could generate enough electricity to power my defunct cordless hedge trimmer I'd be larfin' - only problem I can envisage is whether I might struggle to cut the hedge straight, or even at all, whilst walking round in circles with a broom handle and gardening implement strapped to my trousers........

Just after I retired, my OH persuaded me to get a "decent" shredder. Ok - my cheapo one had a hole so small and didn't do the job, so bought a large petrol one that chipped branches via one insert hole, and had a big plastic shute container where you put your prunings, etc to be slid into the other hole. Whilst it chipped stuff well, when I put prunings such as from a rambler rose and other stuff, they just sat there because the poor design of the shute wouldn't allow them to go down it so they could get shredded. Also, it was jolly heavy and my OH fell into my raspberry bed just getting it out of the shed. I had to take it back to the seller to be re-sold and lost some money on it, so I was very cross! I got another one (a Viking) which is brilliant and was half the price.

Flymo petrol strimmer . . . absolute rubbish!

However, and strangely enough, Flymo are actually owned by Husqvarna, who make some of the best chainsaws in the world - of which I have one.

"my OH fell into my raspberry bed just getting it out of the shed. I had to take it back to the seller to be re-sold and lost some money on it, so I was very cross! I got another one (a Viking) which is brilliant and was half the price."

So did the Viking speak English then?

No, but I did manage a few words of Anglo-Saxon origin. Ah - having just re-read your post, it is called Ethelshred and even getting it out of the shed on my own gives me a great sense of satisfaction and it doesn't half chomp stuff up!