[Growster...]

https://youtu.be/HURFlF8CyV8

I've never been a fan of punk musuc, (sorry Aidy), but I've only just heard a short piece about John Lydon's sad tribute to his wife, Norah, who is gradually falling into dementia's arms. This piece is incredibly haunting, poignant and emotive, and I find it so sad and even difficult to listen to without tearing up.

My dear mum ended her life after three years of Alzheimers, and we watched her losing her mind so gradually, it was almost imperceptible at times. She didn't even know that my dad had died a year earlier, so neither of them knew the other one had gone!

[Goosegirl]

So not a fan of punk myself and haven't heard his song, but it must be one of the worst things in life to see your loved one slowly deteriorate until they don't even know who you are. My heart goes out to him and others who have to cope with this on a daily basis. Both my father's parents had dementia and lived on their own, and if one of them went into another room the other one would try to find them. Unfortunately they would then arrive at my dad's house so he would have to walk or get a bus to take them back. The other one would be doing the same thing so when my dad got back home he had to do it all over again.

[Growster...]

It's not really a 'like' ticked below, but wandering about is a result of dementia!

We once had a knock on the door and an elderly friend appeared from nowhere, wondering where she was! Luckily, they only lived fifty yards away, so we went and got her sister to collect her, and by golly, didn't she get some earache from her as she took her home!

[wighty]

We had some customers who became good friends, the wife got dementia but after the first diagnosis and the fact that she always wandered to the main shopping area in Shanklin, the husband brought her into the shop and we 'spoilt' her with a chair and a cup of tea.  The idea was that she would come in as a 'place of safety' and we could phone the husband and he would collect her or we ran her home.  All the practice worked on at least three occasions for which the family were very grateful and we were rewarded with a large tin of biscuits for over the 'holiday' period.

[Goosegirl]

There are some places specifically for people with dementia where they have various items relevant to their past including music, scents, old household stuff etc. It seems that their short-term memory has gone but their long-term memory still functions and can be triggered by these various memorabilia. I suppose many of us experience this on a daily level but not to the same extent. Some sneaky person sin the past put grease on the neurones supplying my short-term memory so it has become more of a "forgettery" but I've now got them by the S&Cs because I've developed a way to combat it such as "I must remember to put the phone back on the charger before I go to bed" so I chuck one of my slippers in front of my chair. I have a tablet to take three times a day so I take one in the morning then turn the pack over so I know I've already had my morning one, so when I take my midday one I turn the pack back over. Job's a guddone! 

[Goosegirl]

Mods, if I may, please can I post a poem wot I rote whilst riding back on my little 50cc scooter from one of my Creative Writing night classes. Don't know where it came from or why but it just did so here it is.

SENILITY

Today she is singing and dancing to the band.
The music suits her just fine, and
She doesn’t care if she dances a little out of step or forgets the words.
If you’ve half a mind to take the time to listen
You can hear her neurones tangle.
See their sparks go “spingle-spangle” in her eyes.
Her thoughts are like dust motes that rise and whirl around the room.
When they land she hides them in a secret place.
Wrapped up in ribbons.
Safe.
She is busy marching with the band to a distant land
But you’d never know it. Sitting quietly in her chair
She smiles.
They’re going to play her song again!

[Growster...]

That poem just about sums it all p Goosey! It's lovely!

When Mrs Growster's mum was in that sort of state, all I had to do was stand around and say something like 'Bing', or make any other inane noise, and she'd react in kind, repeat it all and make us all laugh!

Well done you for capturing these magic moments - they don't last forever, but while they do, the time stands still for a few minutes!

[Goosegirl]

My OH's dear auntie was your typical granny look-alike. She was a bit on the plump side with skin like porcelain with rosy cheeks, and her grey hair was always in a bun. Years ago she was a land army girl then worked on a farm where she made her own butter and cottage cheese using a churn. Every morning when I used to stay for a few days once a year she had already been up a few hours to prepare food for the evening meal. Anyway, later on she started falling and was eventually diagnosed with dementia. I remember coming down and seeing her sat in her chair with a tartan rug over her knees so I sat on the floor beside her and had a bit of a chat. I'm so grateful that she still knew me, but it was hard when I held her hand and then tears suddenly fell down her cheeks so I just wiped them away with my hand and told her how much she meant to me. One night I helped one of her sons to put her to bed and it was strangely a sort of privilege to be there to make her comfortable for the night. She was a hugely special person in so many peoples' lives and her recipes still go on as does her memory.