[A Reyt Tayty]

Saw two lions walking down the sea front at Blackpool today. One turned to the other and said, "It's quiet today to say it's a bank holiday".

Some years ago I told this joke to an sparkie/customer, but alterd slightly as we were both based in Scarborough,  so that where I set it. He was not amused and told me of the time when he was working in a large house, just outside of the town. The client had to pop out an left STRICT instructions that no-one was to go in a certain room.
Being nosy, the 2 sparkies ventured a peek. Easing the door open they both popped their heads around the door, to be met by the stare of a pair of very large, brown eyes.
The custumer had a FULLY GROWN, MALE LION, AS A PET !

Ah, these were two females.

[RuthLG]

Saw two lions walking down the sea front at Blackpool today. One turned to the other and said, "It's quiet today to say it's a bank holiday".

Erm... I dont get it 

[Raven81]

Saw two lions walking down the sea front at Blackpool today. One turned to the other and said, "It's quiet today to say it's a bank holiday".

Erm... I dont get it 

I was about to say the same thing!

[aelf]

Saw two lions walking down the sea front at Blackpool today. One turned to the other and said, "It's quiet today to say it's a bank holiday".

Erm... I dont get it 

I was about to say the same thing!

Good one.
Do you think the beach would be busy if there were two wild lions walking down it?

[Raven81]

Saw two lions walking down the sea front at Blackpool today. One turned to the other and said, "It's quiet today to say it's a bank holiday".

Erm... I dont get it 

I was about to say the same thing!

Good one.
Do you think the beach would be busy if there were two wild lions walking down it?

Ah thank you! I get it now, and it really is very funny! 

[RuthLG]

Saw two lions walking down the sea front at Blackpool today. One turned to the other and said, "It's quiet today to say it's a bank holiday".

Erm... I dont get it 

I was about to say the same thing!

Good one.
Do you think the beach would be busy if there were two wild lions walking down it?

Aahhh, thank you - penny now dropped 

[aelf]

reminds me of this one:

Two grains of sand on a beach, one says to the other 'Busy here, isn't it?' 

[fatcat1955]

I am surrounded by preserved vegetables in jar's. It's like picalilli circus in here.

[fatcat1955]

Bought one of those Bonnie Tyler sat nav's for the car. It keeps tellimg me to Turn around and Every now and then it falls apart.

[Ice]

Bought one of those Bonnie Tyler sat nav's for the car. It keeps tellimg me to Turn around and Every now and then it falls apart.

You're four months too late with this one.

http://chat.allotment-garden.org/index.php?topic=52701.msg985938#msg985938

[Chrysalis]

Bought one of those Bonnie Tyler sat nav's for the car. It keeps tellimg me to Turn around and Every now and then it falls apart.

You're four months too late with this one.

http://chat.allotment-garden.org/index.php?topic=52701.msg985938#msg985938

Still funny, though

[Ice]

Still funny, though

I know, that's why I posted it.

[angelavdavis]

Went to the allotment last week with the kids and as we struggled to find a space for the car, my four year old announced "Oh no Mummy, it's chocolate blocks here!"

[Chrysalis]

Mmm!!

At least the chocky blocks will melt in the heat.....and you can find a space!

[GTFC197]

AN IRISH GHOST STORY

This story happened a while ago in Dublin and even though it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, it's true.

John Bradford, a Dublin University student, was on the side of the road hitchhiking
on a very dark night and in the midst of a big storm.

The night was rolling on and no car went by.

The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him.

Suddenly, he saw a car slowly coming towards him and stopped. John , desperate for shelter and without thinking about it, got into the car and closed the door....

Only to realize there was nobody behind the wheel and the engine wasn't on.
 
The car started moving slowly.

John looked at the road ahead and saw a curve approaching. Scared, he started to pray,
begging for his life.

Then, just before the car hit the curve, a hand appeared out of nowhere through the window, and turned the wheel.

John , paralysed with terror, watched as the hand came through the window, but never touched or harmed him. Shortly thereafter, John saw the lights of a pub appear down the road, so, gathering strength; he jumped out of the car and ran to the pub.

Wet and out of breath, he rushed inside and started telling everybody about the horrible
experience he had just had. A silence enveloped the pub when everybody realized he was crying and wasn't drunk.

Suddenly, the door to the pub flew open, and two other people walked in from the dark and stormy night.

They, like John, were also soaked and out of breath.
 
Looking around, and seeing John Bradford sobbing at the bar, one said to the other....


 Look Paddy....there's that  idiot that got in the car while we were pushing it!!!!'