sweet chestnut / bramble egg custard

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GrannieAnnie

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sweet chestnut / bramble egg custard
« Reply #30 on: October 26, 2006, 15:23 »
Joke site maybe, but unfortunately there are people like that!!!

It's like on TV recently people were saying that they had been threatened with their lives because they wouldn't convert to being a muslim.  And this was in ENGLAND!  And back in time and now and probably into the future, more people are killed because of religion and their beliefs than for any other reason!

That's why I'm not very religious.  We used to see people going into church on sunday, coming out and going straight into the pub to get p****d!

My friend Sheila was born into a christian family, but she has studied loads of different religions and says that as far as she is concerned, all the religions are like the spokes of a wheel, all leading to the centre being, whatever you call it, God, buddha, etc etc.  I liked that idea!

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muntjac

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sweet chestnut / bramble egg custard
« Reply #31 on: October 26, 2006, 15:39 »
my way to stop the door knocking   coming to annoy me is simple , i have " maison lunatique " as my house name , seems to keep them away  but i guess 4 hounds from hell may help as well  :lol:
still alive /............

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Mrs Dobby

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sweet chestnut / bramble egg custard
« Reply #32 on: October 26, 2006, 18:54 »
Funny site! My fave Pagan joke follows, dunno who wrote it, but cracks me up! Enjoy! :D

A Pagan dies, and to his great surprise finds himself standing before some pearly gates. The guy in charge looks him over before asking, "Can I help you?"
"Where am I?" asks the Pagan.
"Beg your pardon?" the other guy asks. "You're in Heaven, of course."
"B-but I don't believe..."
"Hmmm" (squinting his eyes) "are you one of them Pagan folk?" the gatekeeper asks, his mouth curling in mild distaste.
"Yes, I am... I believe I'm in the wrong place, which way is the Summerland?" our Pagan friend asks.
"It's been 'temporarily' shut down for repairs," the gatekeeper said with an ironic chuckle, "ever since we took over...err...I mean... since the people found their way to the true path."
"Whatever," says the Pagan, "What do I do now?"
"I'm sorry sir, but you must go to Hell. No Pagans allowed here."
"WHAT? Hell? But I don't believe in Hell!"
"Sorry, those are the rules, just follow the downward path to the left."
So our Pagan friend walks down to Hell, only to find the doors open. He warily goes in and looks around to see beautiful meadows, and animals happily roaming the surrounding woods. "Hmm, so far so good."
A voice behind him made him all but jump out of his skin. "Can I help you?"
"SHEESH! Give a guy a heart attack, why don't you?"
"Ahem... a little too late for that, isn't it?" the guy said with a smile.
"Who are you, anyway?" our friend asks.
"Why, I'm Satan," the other one said with a slight bow.
"Satan?!" said our friend as he started looking around nervously.
"At your service... you're the Pagan guy Pete called us about, right?"
"Pete... oh the guy in Heaven, yes..." he said, eyeing Satan carefully. "What's gonna happen to me now?"
"Well, you can hang out, there's some great fishing going on in the lake beyond these woods and, if you follow the road down this way, there's refreshments and a little market not too far and to your right. I believe the Pagan meeting grounds are just behind that hill..." Satan went on.
"Are you serious...?" he finally asked.
Satan grinned at him innocently. "Why shouldn't I be?" Sudden understanding filled Satan's eyes. "You don't believe the rumours, do you?"
Suddenly, in answer to our friend's growing fear, the vault of the skies opened with a thunderous groan. A soul, plummeting through the sky, screamed in terror, his screams drowned by the opening of a yawning chasm full of fire and brimstone. The stench of sulphur thickened the air. Thousands of howling, suffering, tortured voices echoed through Hell. When the screaming soul finally fell into the pit, the ground shut closed with a sickening thud that rattled the earth.
Our Pagan friend all but soiled his undies as he yelped in terror. "And what was THAT all about?"
Satan rolled his eyes, and made a dismissive gesture with his hand as he said with a distasteful grimace. "Oh, just ignore that..." He rolled his eyes again. "My Christian guests refuse to have it any other way!"



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