[agingchick]

Our Yearly Dementia Test

It's that time of year for us to take our annual senior citizen test.
Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it!

Below is a very private way to gauge how your memory  compares to the last test. Some may think it is too easy but the one s with memory problems may have difficulty.  Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not.

The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've made your answer.   

OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.
 
 


1. What do you put in a toaster?


 


 


 




 


Answer: 'bread.' If you said 'toast' give up now and do something else..
Try not to hurt yourself.

 

If you said, bread, go to Question 2. 


 



2.   Say 'silk' five times. Now spell 'silk.' What do cows drink?





 


 


Answer: Cows drink water. If you said 'milk,' don't attempt the ne xt question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with reading a more appropriate literature such as Auto World.

However, if you said 'water', proceed to question 3.





 



3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?


 



Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass.  If you said 'green bricks,' why are you still reading these???
If you said 'glass,' go on to Question 4.



 
4 Without using a  calculator - You are driving a bus from London to

Milford Haven in Wales .   In London , 17 people get on the bus.
In Reading , 6 people get off the bus and 9 people get on.
In   Swindon , 2 people get off and 4 get on.
In Cardiff , 11 people get off and 16 people get on.
In Swansea , 3 people get off and 5 people get on.
In Carmathen, 6 people get off and 3 get on.
You then arrive at Milford Haven   .. 


Without scrolling back to review, how old is the bus driver?




 



 


Answer: Oh, for crying out loud!
Don't you remember your own age?

   It was YOU driving the bus!!


If you pass this along to your friends, pray they do better than you.


PS: 95% of people fail most of the questions!!

 

[JayG]

Very good agingchick!

(Yes, I did do the test; let's just say it's nice to be "normal"!!)   

[horsepooisgood]

Who am I??

[Paul Plots]

Who am I??

Not the foggiest......and I got full marks and only cheated once twice as Mrs L wandered in and started nattering part way through so I got confussled. 

Who am I?  No. I didn't ask that. Was it you?   

[davethespread]

one day an eagle was sat on a branch high up in a tree doing nothing.along came a rabbit who said to the eagle,"can i sit around doing nothing,"so the eagle says"sure why not,"
so the rabbit settles on the ground below the eagle.

all of a sudden a fox comes out of nowhere jumps on the rabbit and eats him.

the moral to this tale is:TO BE SITTING DOING NOTHING YOU MUST BE VERY VERY HIGH UP.

[davethespread]

talking to one of the sunday papers,david beckham denies he's finished,he said im English not Scandinavian,

[Oddpod]

liked this:

 _zmwRitYO3w

 

[hamstergbert]

every home should have one...

[rockyracoon]

Here is a little something someone sent me that is indisputable mathematical logic. It also made me Laugh Out Loud .
This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint...it goes like this:

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A -R -D-W-O -R -K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%


and


K -N -O -W-L -E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5
= 96%

But ,

A-T -T -I -T -U -D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B -U -L -L -S -H-I -T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S -S -K -I -S-S -I -N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7
= 118%
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, its the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.
__________________

[mrs bouquet]

Sorry, Aunt Sally, I knew you would probably be angry - I think it  was just to let you all know I am back, although, you will all know, it was a hospital joke, and it was told to me by my 'leading consultant'  !!!!!  Mrs Bouquet

[Starling]

Here is a little something someone sent me that is indisputable mathematical logic. It also made me Laugh Out Loud .
This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint...it goes like this:

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A -R -D-W-O -R -K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%


and


K -N -O -W-L -E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5
= 96%

But ,

A-T -T -I -T -U -D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B -U -L -L -S -H-I -T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S -S -K -I -S-S -I -N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7
= 118%
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, its the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.
__________________

[Bizzi Lizzi]

Heard on "QI" last night - what do the Welsh call a sheep tied to a lamp post?  A leisure centre!!  Made me and child giggle anyway

[gypsy]

Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

[8doubles]

Do not throw stones at this sign.

one of my favourites.

[horsepooisgood]

A firefighter was working on the engine outside the Station, when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.

The girl was wearing a firefighter's helmet.

The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat.

The firefighter walked over to take a closer look. 'That sure is a nice fire truck,' the firefighter said with admiration.

'Thanks,' the girl replied. The firefighter looked a little closer. The girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles.

'Little partner,' the firefighter said, 'I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster. '

The little girl replied thoughtfully, 'You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren.'


Sits back and waits for it to be removed, sorry mods but my laughter overtook my.........

Mark