[oakridge]

From my childhood 60 years ago a remember another version of the fastener list; washers nuts screws and bolts.
Also from that time OLOLAQICI82QB4IP.
And also we all used to go the pantomime in Coventry and then across the road to the fire station for tea.  During the interval the stars would come down into the auditorium to chat with us. I particularly remember Beryl Reid and Jewel and Warris.  Some starts would come to school to entertain us.  This is a poem from Jewel and Warris:

There was a farm near Huddersfield
That has a cow that wouldn't yield
The reason why she wouldn't yield
She didn't like her udders feeled. 

Bummm, bummm.

[John]

Going bald

There's a misconception that men lose their hair. Well as I get older I have discovered the truth. It actually relocates from the head and re-appears out of your nose and ears although some changes form and grows above the eyes.

I'm also very worried that gravity is changing and none of the scientists seem to realise. Things are much heavier to pick up and carry now than they were 20 years ago..

And why do they make clothes out of material that shrinks in the wardrobe?

[rogerbodger]

John - it's the increased gravity that lowers the hair by a few inches from the top of the head to the nose, eye & ear level

[azubah]

Have you noticed that everyone mumbles these days.

[oldgrunge]

Very perceptive of you, John. I have noticed these phenomena myself, also, the quality of the printed word is deteriorating too, it's nowhere near as clear as it used to be!

[Plotmaster]

Funny I don't seem to be able to hear people very well until I look at them, now beginning to wonder how much lip reading I'm actually doing these days. What did you say, Pardon, It's the vari focal glasses unless I'm directly looking at you I can't hear you.  

[Aled]

There are many good reasons for drinking
And one has just entered my head
If a man cannot drink when he's living
How the hell can he drink when he's dead?

Anon!

Another written on a gravestone of a Ghillie in Scotland

"If whiskey be the water of life, why am I lying here"....

Cheers
Aled

[oakridge]

Wife texts husband on a cold winter's morning: "Windows frozen, won't open."

Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer."

Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now!"

--------------------

As a retired IT Techie this rings so true.

[oakridge]

A bonus.

Why Facebook exists

This is for people of an older generation who do not really comprehend why Facebook exists.

Presently, I am trying to make friends outside of Facebook while applying the same Facebook principles. Therefore, every day I go out on the street and tell the passers-by what I have eaten, how I feel, what I have done the night before, and what I will do tomorrow. Then I give them pictures of my family, my dog, of me gardening and spending time in my pool. I also listen to their conversations and I tell them I love them. It works! I already have 3 persons following me: 2 police officers and a psychiatrist.

[Tenhens]

Going bald

There's a misconception that men lose their hair. Well as I get older I have discovered the truth. It actually relocates from the head and re-appears out of your nose and ears although some changes form and grows above the eyes.

Mother Nature must have a reason why it doesn't happen to our fair maidens, instead inflicting it on us male mortals.  Would things be different if 'Father Nature' was pulling the strings.

[LilacSandy]

Would men have babies then Tenhens?
A mummy tummy where you have a stone of flapping flesh
Cannot sit in a room after 40 without switching on and off the heating every ten minutes.
Don't want to cough or laugh without embarrassing yourself.
Growing a beard.
And that's the easy bits.

[Snoop]

Would men have babies then Tenhens?
A mummy tummy where you have a stone of flapping flesh
Cannot sit in a room after 40 without switching on and off the heating every ten minutes.
Don't want to cough or laugh without embarrassing yourself.
Growing a beard.
And that's the easy bits.

 

[John]

If I'd known I was going to ignite a battle of the sexes, I'd have stuck with safe, non-contentious topics like should we stay in the EU 

[Snoop]

If I'd known I was going to ignite a battle of the sexes, I'd have stuck with safe, non-contentious topics like should we stay in the EU 

That's a proper can of worms you've opened there...

[Tenhens]

What does a proper can look like and why does it contain worms?