[Snoop]

 

Were they in fantsy-pantsy uniform?

[mumofstig]

Fantastic 

[JayG]

Wonder whether Ant Sally thought it was funny? 

[Aunt Sally]

Well really

Hi h'anticipated this, h'ant you got h'enything better to talk about

[mumofstig]

I've got plenty to do, make the antipasti for dinner, and put some anthracite on the fire, cos it feels Antarctic in here , maybe because I'm catching a cold and may need antibiotics 

[rogerbodger]

Surprised no one's mentioned Santa yet, so blatantly obvious

[rogerbodger]

Three dead bodies turn up at the Dublin mortuary​, all with very big smiles on their faces.

The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened.

'First body: Pierre Dubois, Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his 20-year old mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector', says the Coroner.

'Second body: Hamish Campbell, Scotsman, 25, won £50,000 on the lottery. Spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile.'

The Inspector asked, 'What about the third body?'

'Ah,' says the coroner, 'this is the most unusual one. Paddy Murphy, Irish, 30, struck by lightning.'

'Why is he smiling then?' inquires the Inspector.

'He thought he was having his picture taken'.

[MickyB]

And where was Dec?   

[Chrysalis]

In the halls with Holly   

(and her dependants)

[rogerbodger]

With the recent thread on technology in mind .....

Company Notice:
 
Subject: Severe Cutbacks:
 
The Companies goal is to remove all computers from the office. All PC's will be replaced by an Etch-A-Sketch.
 
To this end, everyone will be provided with one, and there are many sound reasons for doing this.
 
* No boot up problems.
* No technical glitches keeping work from being done
* No more wasted time reading and writing emails
* No more worries about power cuts
 
In an effort to effect a quick change, the I.T. department has issued a 'Frequently Asked Questions' document, and will now be called the Etch-  A- Sketch Help Desk.
 
Q. My Etch-A-Sketch has all funny lines all over the screen
A. Pick it up and shake it.
 
Q. How do I turn my Etch-A-Sketch off?
A. Pick it up and shake it.
 
Q. What's the short cut for 'Undo'?
A. Pick it up and shake it.
 
Q. How do I create a New Document window?
A. Pick it up and shake it.
 
Q. How do I set the background and foreground to the same colour?
A. Pick it up and shake it.
 
Q. What's the proper procedure for rebooting my Etch-A-Sketch?
A. Pick it up and shake it.
 
Q. How do I delete a document on my Etch-A-Sketch?
A. Pick it up and shake it.
 
Q. How do I save a document on my Etch-A-Sketch?
A. Don't pick it up and shake it.

[New shoot]

Love it      

[mumofstig]

A good'un 

[ryetek]

Good one rogerbodger  You do realise however that someone will claim they've lost their work by accidentally picking it up and shaking it.

[rogerbodger]

The man who invented chicken nuggets was struggling to make hen's meat

[rogerbodger]

Wombles pepper mill review ......

Not very good, it's always underground or overground