A carpenter was giving evidence about an accident he had witnessed.
The lawyer for the defendant was trying to discredit him and asked him how far away he was from the accident.
The carpenter replied,"twenty-seven feet,six and one half inches."
"What? how come you are so sure of that distance?" asked the lawyer.
"well,i knew sooner or later some idiot would ask me,so i measured it!"replied the carpenter.
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A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work.
The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile,gave him a broom,and said,"your first job will be to sweep out the store."
"but im a college graduate," the young man replied indignantly.
"oh im sorry,i did'nt realize that,"said the manager.
"here,give me the broom--i'll show you how."