The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!

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Growster...

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4110 on: July 27, 2021, 11:38 »
Mrs Growster is not talking to me since she asked me to make a bird table, and she was written down as fifth...:0(

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Growster...

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4111 on: August 06, 2021, 06:47 »
Does anyone know how to stop the constant dripping and condensation in my home?

Please call, the kettle is always on!

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al78

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4112 on: August 13, 2021, 10:02 »
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190872883_1955729161260503_2573909307186400916_n.jpg

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John

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4113 on: August 15, 2021, 09:33 »
..... Makes you think!
manual.jpg

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DanielCoffey

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4114 on: August 17, 2021, 16:16 »
A young couple moved into a new house.

The next morning while they were eating breakfast the young woman saw her neighbour hanging the washing outside and said to her husband…

"That  laundry is not very clean; she doesn’t know how to wash correctly!! Perhaps she needs better soap powder!!"

Her husband looked on, remaining silent.

Every time her neighbour hung her washing out to dry, the young woman made the same comments.

A month later, the woman was surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband, "Look, she’s finally learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her this?"

The husband replied, "I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows."

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Growster...

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4115 on: August 17, 2021, 17:38 »
Does anyone know how to cancel a bid on eBay?

I put one in for a Cowboy Outfit yesterday, now I'm only ten minutes away from owning Network Rail...

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Blackpool rocket

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4116 on: August 22, 2021, 22:28 »
A married couple were sitting quietly at home one night when the wife asks:

“You remember twenty years ago, we had an argument and we both decided to write a list of all the things that annoyed us about each other?”

The husband chuckles and replies, “yes I do. Do you know I think I still have that list tucked away somewhere upstairs.”

She replies, “well, I just finished mine.”

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Blackpool rocket

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4117 on: August 25, 2021, 15:18 »
My wife thought I was stupid for building a car out of spaghetti..

You should have seen her face when I drove Pasta      


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John

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4118 on: August 25, 2021, 20:37 »
You should have seen her face when I drove Pasta

GROAN!  :D :D :D

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Plot 1 Problems

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4119 on: August 25, 2021, 23:33 »
My wife thought I was stupid for building a car out of spaghetti..

You should have seen her face when I drove Pasta      




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Subversive_plot

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4120 on: August 26, 2021, 03:07 »
 Two men are sitting drinking at a bar at the top of the Empire State Building, when the first man turns to the other and says "You know, last week I discovered that if you jump from the top of this building, the winds around the building are so intense that by the time you fall to the 10th floor, they carry you around the building and back into a window". The bartender just shakes his head in disapproval while wiping the bar.

The second guy says, "What, are you nuts? There's no way that could happen. "No, its true," the first man says. "Let me prove it to you." He gets up from the bar, jumps over the balcony, and plummets toward the street below. As he nears the 10th floor, the high winds whip him around the building and back into the 10th floor window and he takes the elevator back up to the bar.

He meets the second man, who looks quite astonished. "You know, I saw that with my own eyes, but that must have been a one time fluke." "No, I'll prove it again," says the first man as he jumps again. Just as he is hurtling toward the street, the 10th floor wind gently carries him around the building and into the window. Once upstairs he urges his fellow drinker to try it.

"Well, why not." the second guy says, "It works. I'll try it." He jumps over the balcony, plunges downward passes the 11th, 10th 9th, 8th, floors. . . . . and hits the sidewalk with a SPLAT.

Back upstairs the bartender turns to the other drinker and says, "You know Superman, you're a real jerk when you're drunk".
Please stay safe!  Wear a mask, and observe social distancing!

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Growster...

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4121 on: August 26, 2021, 06:08 »
During lockdown, anyone wishing to show their appreciation for Amazon delivery drivers are asked to clap hands at their home anytime between 9am and 6pm the following day...

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Plot 1 Problems

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Growster...

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4123 on: August 27, 2021, 14:21 »
Mobile users eh...

Paah!
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Blackpool rocket

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4124 on: August 27, 2021, 23:56 »
Pikture


The old and well worn "Too drunk to walk" excuse...It didn't wrok then, it won't wirk now.
Just merember kids, know your limitrations, always dring risponsibli and never let your gard dawn. rispekt yaw eldrs a
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