Allotment Gardening Advice Help Chat
Poultry and Pets => Chicken Chat => Topic started by: Abacus on June 27, 2012, 13:14
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1. Chickens will eat everything you do not want them too.
2. No matter how fancy/clean/expensive your watering device for your chickens is they will still drink out of that dirty puddle in the corner at every available opportunity!
Anyone any more?
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No matter how often you poo pick, there will always be a fresh pile! :ohmy:
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An open door/window is an invatation for them to enter and poop on the floor!!
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No matter how many times you clear away the stones they will always manage to find more in your borders and kick them out onto the lawn for the lawn mower to hit :D
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There's nothing chickens love more than when you have a bbq/picnic, just remember your food is their food :lol:
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They will come in under the dogs when you open the kitchen door! :ohmy:
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They just love a nice cuppa, they will fly up and perch on your arm to share yours when they see an opportunity.
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The pellets you put in the second feeder are always more interesting than those in the first despite the fact they have been and will always be exactly the same.
Chickens will always find their way into a netted bed, but they can't ever seem to get out without a lot of fuss.
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If you want a large hole, get a chook to make it for you.
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Bare toes are irresistible chicken food. Bare toes being pecked hurts
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Never, ever tease a chicken.
Having a dog makes poo picking a garden easier.
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Say "goodbye" to your garden.
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Say bye bye to clean clothes and hello to going out in the morning in pjs and bed hair.
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yipee,i never get dressed to go in my garden,its not like anyone can see me&if they can?who cares
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when digging over their run you will need extremely fast reactions as they will always jump onto the spot where your spade is just about to go in (nearly had 3 hens cut in half this morning :ohmy:) :lol:
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Beware of ever letting them know you have food in the house! They will literally fall over each other and themselves to get at the slightest crumb, they are intensely greedy (if the isn't already clear! :lol:) and probably trip you up in the process. :ohmy:
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And do be careful at the kitchen step. It doesn't matter how much you push them out of the way with your foot, they will be back before your foot hits the ground (or chook :ohmy:) and you will go a over t trying to avoid treading on and squishing the little
b... I mean darlings. :lol:
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Don't wear red nail varnish (this is a tip for you boys ;)) They'll relentlessly peck at your fingertips til they bleed thinking they're berries.
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Your lawn = their salad bar/ideal spot for digging big hole to dust bathe in
Your borders = worm hunting ground/ideal spot for digging big hole to dust bathe in
Your pots = if topped with grit - much more tasty that the stuff in the grit feeder
Your garden bench = ideal perching spot, also good for pooping on
Your plants = often worth tasting, if no good, dig a big hole, chuck them out the way and dust bathe
Waddya mean 'Your' garden. That was before you got us :lol:
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that is sooooo true, New Shoot!
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I thought that was the normal gear, P.Js doesn't everyone, my OH told me when we started, "See to your animals before you see to yourself" , they wouldn't recognise me in anything else
Oh Yes plus anorac Summer 2012 :)
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Your coop cleaning WILL be inspected immediately and commented on by at least one chook.
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Easier to get hen poo off a vinyl floor than a carpet or a doormat.
Easier to get the dog out of its bed than the hen (who likes the feel of acrylic blankets).
The footpath will never be poo free again no matter how often you sweep. Your garden shoe soles will have a permanent thick white crust.
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they are basically ninjas. 8)
Stealing other peoples food at any opportunity. Beady wee eyes.
You cant have picnics in the garden anymore. They are relentless.
If they see you have food, You must run far away! .
You will never hear a chicken ask "wheres the rubber gloves, Nic?, Ive just done a belter over here and I'd hate for the kids to step in it" chickens can't speak. :closedeyes:
Get hanging baskets, and wave goodbye to fashion
You will instantly love they way they run, in slow motion with Chariots of Fire playing. They do this for grapes.
You will become obsessed with them, and their enigmatic aura. :lol:
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My personal favourite is the Benny Hill chase when one finds a worm and the others notice!
Chickens will always do a poo on clean slabs, you can turn this into a game and bet on which chicken and which slab.
I have an old pair of my husbands trainers near the back door (as they fit all of us) and in those and my red fluffy dressing gown I get the chooks up every morning at 5.30, I thought I was the only one and that every one else goes out in full make up and fully clothed (lol)
chickens will tell you very loudly when they have been good enough to deserve a treat and run up and down the fence to get your attention.
But above all they will give you hours of amusement, they all have their own personalities and they are worth the winter mornings sliding on muck and ice to liberate them from the coop.
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Hummmm, my OH beats the fluffy dressing gown! He is out there at 4am on our days off, in the buff and a pair of crocs, to let the little darlings out, as that is the time they go out on work days, and they will object if their routine is disrupted. ::)
Not sure that isn't a mite dangerous though!!!!!! :ohmy:
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It would certainly be one for the Darwin Awards though. Lets hope he continues to be safe :ohmy:
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Hummmm, my OH beats the fluffy dressing gown! He is out there at 4am on our days off, in the buff and a pair of crocs, to let the little darlings out, as that is the time they go out on work days, and they will object if their routine is disrupted. ::)
Not sure that isn't a mite dangerous though!!!!!! :ohmy:
I suppose it saves him getting a shower on a morning with the weather we have been having this summer!!! ::)
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Doesn't matter how high a fence is, chickens can fly.
It is a lot quicker taking down a chicken run than putting one up.
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Ha ha ha. Haven't been on here recently and this has really made me chortle! :lol:
You can throw handfuls of wheat on the ground but the tastiest bits are the few grains left in your bowl which one clever little soul will always attempt to fly on to whilst you still hold it.
Chickens can smell the fear in those who do not "do chickens" and will plague them, jump at them, peck them and generally make sure that they take notice.
No matter how good they pretend they are at laying their eggs in the correct place there will always be at least one egg that you find months later in the strangest of places. I have had girls who have insisted on escaping just so they can lay an egg somewhere different for a change. I wouldn't mind so much if they then became broody but my ex-bat girls seem to see it as more of a sport!
Having said all that, I wouldn't change them for the world. (Although I may toilet train them or encourage them to wear nappies - I skidded a good 4 foot today on a particularly slimy poop!) ::)
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ha ha, laugh @ pigeonpie & sliding on chicken poo. Crocks are deadly for that.
Never wear slightly wornout crocks in a chicken coop - you will be on your back.
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Chickens always like to be nosy, so say goodbye to peaceful cooking in the kitchen, and you'll get evils from the chooks if you dare put any of the scraps in the bin.
Chooks are always the first to greet guests when you tell them to go round the back.
No matter how much you've fed them, they'll still beg for food.
Say goodbye to lie ins, especially with cockerels.
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Do not stand still too long or your shoes will become a very convenient place to poop on.
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Abacus - if this was a facebook page you'd get a 'like'!!!!!
Hens will try to commit suicide when you are gardening - they throw themselves under spades that are digging and under feet that step back....
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Abacus - if this was a facebook page you'd get a 'like'!!!!!
Hens will try to commit suicide when you are gardening - they throw themselves under spades that are digging and under feet that step back....
Oh yes! :lol:
Having a quiet furtle of your spuds? Watch out for the hen who lands on your hand and gleefully furtles with you. :D
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There is nothing quite as grumpy as a broody bantam ::) Especially when hoofed out of the nestbox by me to go get some fresh air, food and water ::)
Several of mine seem to think its an olympic sport and are in serious training. Well I'm at home today so they are getting locked out of the coop to cool down :lol:
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Chickens are like cats - always the wrong side of the door.
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oooh thanks - new word for my personal lexicon - furtle!
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Never be surprised when your lovely young hen crows early one morning to let you know HE wants out.
Be prepared for noisy demonstrations of "thats my house you are in, buster. It doesn't need cleaning out yet" Then the soft rosey of "oh doesn't she clean our house well".
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Always slip garden shoes on. Just when I thought I could get away with just nipping down the path in socks - squelch :wacko:
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Thier beady little eyes dont miss anything,like when you go to the shed for a screwdriver and they have a mad dash thinking its corn time.
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Make sure to cover your pots and troughs with stout mesh....and don't think they are out of reach!
(http://i673.photobucket.com/albums/vv100/tosca100-dog/chooks006.jpg)
And don't attempt to go through the back door carrying anything so you can't see.......
(http://i673.photobucket.com/albums/vv100/tosca100-dog/chooks003.jpg)
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Tosca, that is an ambush party at your back door if ever I saw one :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Tosca, that is an ambush party at your back door if ever I saw one :lol: :lol: :lol:
Absolutely brilliant - hubby wanted to know what I was laughing at - you've made my day! :D
And don't forget the chicken that stands on your shovel when cleaning the coop out - so you end up throwing them out as well!
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Hens see a pile of anything in the garden as a challenge.
You certainly cannot rake leaves then go to get a wheelbarrow !
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Don't let your chicken sneak into the kitchen straight from a dustbath in your veggie plot, or they might shake......
(http://i673.photobucket.com/albums/vv100/tosca100-dog/walkingmurphy003.jpg)
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:lol: :lol: :lol:
Mind you ........ better go see what my 'orrible lot are up to as they are on the loose and have suddenly gone very quiet :unsure:
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this is the funniest forum thread i have read in ages.
thanks to all! :)
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Here here! :D
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You can't resist a quick cuddle but be prepared to throw that t shirt in the wash despite having just put it on as your feathered friend is secretly wiping her feet on you while you tickle her!!
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Your teeth are a bit sweetcorn sized and a bit sweetcorn shaped so from a chooks viewpoint you have a mouthful of............................Yup!!!!!!
Do not smile too close to a chook !
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If you need ground clearing, employ chickens, not only do they eat everything in sight, they rake and fertilize too :D
Cat flaps are not just for cats :nowink:
Next doors grass is greener . . . . they don't have chickens ::)
They're always up for a laugh . . . . as the tip the water over you for the 3rd time in 10 minutes :mad:
Yes chickens do fly . . . . to the top of the Damson tree at bedtime >:(
They're always eager to see you in the morning . . . . just don't stand in their flight path :blink:
If you ever feel sad, worn out or wonder 'what's the point' spend 5 minutes with some chickens ;) :happy:
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Never forget that you put that fresh egg in your pocket!!!
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Sartorial elegance and chickens do not go together :nowink:
Wellies, pj's and fluffy dressing gowns do ;)
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and if you are daft enough to go anywhere near your chickens wearing anything remotely smart, you can bet your life that will be the moment they choose to fly up at you to see if you have anything interesting for them to eat, wipe their beaks on your legs or kick dirt up at you whilst in pursuit of a worm :lol:
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Leave the back door open and turn your back = one nosey chicken climbing two flights of stairs and finding her in the bathroom :wacko: