[Aunt Sally]

His only mistake was playing golf rather than reading a book 

[DavidT]

He went to the club once to often, it appears.

[Paul Plots]

Two tv aerials got together on a roof top, became good friends and decided to marry.

It was a pretty poor ceremony but wonderful reception! 

[Glosterboy]

Paddy goes to the vet with his goldfish.

"I think it's got epilepsy" he tells the vet.

Vet takes a look and says "It seems calm enough to me".

Paddy says, "I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet".

[aelf]

 

What's grey and can't climb trees?


A car park! 

[greenun]

Oh no aelf don't start that.
 Sigh.....
What's got red eyes and eats rocks?

[hamstergbert]

A pineapple!

(I've assumed you made up the bit about the red eyes and the rock eating)

[WirralWally]

What's got red eyes and eats rocks?

Would that be a red-eyed rock-eater? 

[greenun]

Yup red-eyed rock eater.
What goes white flub black flub white flub black flub......?

[hamstergbert]

a penguin in a washing machine?
a nun in a washing machine?
a nun dressed as a penguin, in a washing machine?
a penguin dressed as a nun in a washing machine?
a penguin dressed as a different penguin in...etc etc etc

[hamstergbert]

What is it that you can sit on, clean your teeth with, and eat your dinner off?

[Jamie Butterworth]

I saw joke on TV today, they call themselves england

[Jamie Butterworth]

Englands new coach arrives tomorow....


.... to take them home

[Paul Plots]

Englands new coach arrives tomorow....


.... to take them home

  .......... Perhaps they are going somewhere 

[greenun]

A nun falling downstairs.
Hey aelf
what contains dirty water and floats
A carp ark