[Paul Plots]

For the lovers of art......

THE FAMILY TREE OF Vincent Van Gogh !!

His dizzy aunt ------------------------------------ ----------Verti Gogh
The brother who ate prunes ------------------------------ Gotta Gogh
The brother who worked at a convenience store ------- Stop N Gogh
The grandfather from Yugoslavia - ----------------------- U Gogh
His magician uncle ----------------------------------------- Where-diddy Gogh
His Mexican Cousin---------------------------------------- A Me Gogh
The Mexican cousin's American half-brother ------------ Gring Gogh
The nephew who drove a stage coach --------------------Wells Far-Gogh
The constipated uncle -------------------------------------Can't Gogh
The ballroom dancing aunt ------------------------------- Tang Gogh
The bird lover uncle -------------------------------------- Fla Ming Gogh
The fruit-loving cousin ----------------------------------- Man Gogh
An aunt who taught positive thinking-------------------- Way-to-Gogh
The little bouncy nephew -------------------------------- Poe Gogh
A sister who loved disco --------------------------------- Go Gogh

AND....

His niece who travels the country in an RV ------------Winnie Bay Gogh

I saw you smiling ------------------------------------------There ya Gogh

[davethespread]

  excellent learner

[joyfull]

  learner that is so funny 

[davethespread]

A women went to her doctor for a follow up visit after the doctor prescribed testosterone for her.
she was a little worried about some of the side effects she was experiencing."doctor,the hormones you have been giving me have really helped,but im worried your giving me too much.ive started growing hair in places that ive never grown hair before."

the doctor reassured her,"a little haitgrowth is a perfectly normal side effect of testosterone,just where has the hair appeared?"

"on my testicles,which is something else i needed to talk to you about."

[MoreWhisky]

[Jamie Butterworth]

 

[plot6b]

They should be Canned up for that

[Paul Plots]

Personally I thought it was a bit of a candid picture!!  :blink: 

[pumpkinpatch]

Iv just lost my job at pepsi... they found traces of coke on me   

[plot6b]

I reckon An Identity parade might be required

[davethespread]

do you reckon they might get charged with in-fanta-cide or did he just "pop" his clogs

[Snap Dragon]

A Panda walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a meal. When the meal finally arrives, he eats it quickly, then shoots a drunk, and leaves the bar.

A patron walks over to the bartender and asks, "What was that all about?"

The bartender replies, "Look up 'panda' in the dictionary, pal."

And so, the patron retrieves his Webster's dictionary from his coat pocket and looks up the word 'panda.'

"What's it say?" asks the bartender.

The patron replies with a grin, "Eats shoots and leaves."

[horsepooisgood]

SCIENTISTS DISCOVER NEW ELEMENT

Oxford University researchers have discovered the heaviest element yet known to science.

The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pillocks. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration.

This hypothetical quantity is referred to as a critical morass. When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many pillocks but twice as many morons.

[mumofstig]

LMAO...soooo funny

[Paul Plots]

Not so funny but interesting (?)

Olny srmat poelpe can raed tihs.
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty  uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig  to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.   Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and you awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!