A blonde criminal mastermind.... well, anyway, a blonde criminal kidnapped a ten year old lad. She gave him the ransom note and sent him home with it.
Next day the lad came back to the blonde criminal with his mother's response of "I can't live without my son - how could you be so cruel to a fellow blonde!"
Feller out on a ramble cannot make head nor tail of his map and, eventually, admits defeat. Looking round he espies a blonde, working on her vegetable patch.
"Excuse me!" he says. "Where does this footpath go?"
The blonde looks at him. "Doesn't go anywhere. Stays right there on the ground in front of the allotments!"
He sneers. "What a stupid answer. Serves me right for asking a blonde!"
She smiles at him. "I am a blonde. I may be stupid, opinions differ. But one thing for certain - I aint lost!"
Two blondes went to Battersea Dogs Home and each adopted a puppy. The joy of their new best friends was quickly overshadowed when they got home and the first blonde said, "I think we're in trouble, how are we going to tell them apart?"
This led to several hours of concentration until finally, the second blonde said, "I've got an idea. We'll tie a red bow around my puppy and a blue bow around yours."
The next day the first blonde comes running up to the second when she got home, "Oh no, I can't tell whose puppy is whose. They've pulled the ribbons off while they were playing."
"OK, we need to find a better way to tell them apart," says the second blonde. After several more hours of concentration, they came up with the bright idea of getting different colored collars.
Again, the next day, the first blonde comes running up to the second as soon as she gets home, "Oh no, I can't tell whose puppy is whose. They've pulled their collars off while they were playing."
"There's got to be some way to tell them apart," says the second blonde.
After several more hours of concentration, the first blonde finally comes up with another idea, "I know! Why don't you take the black one and I'll take the white one!"
Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. They tried and tried to get the door open, but they couldn't. The blond with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and her friend said anxiously, "Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down."
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started."
He asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."
He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then....." he sighed, "we'll put all these Frosties back in the box."