Advice for men

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nerdle

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Advice for men
« on: September 03, 2013, 08:48 »
Some advice...
305422_565295073487081_1355545680_n.jpg
« Last Edit: September 03, 2013, 08:49 by nerdle »
One grandma and 4 baby Pekins.

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joyfull

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Re: Advice for men
« Reply #1 on: September 03, 2013, 09:34 »
 :lol: :lol:
Staffies are softer than you think.

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Sparkyrog

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Re: Advice for men
« Reply #2 on: September 03, 2013, 22:41 »
 :lol: :lol:
I cook therefore I grow

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Mum2mj

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Re: Advice for men
« Reply #3 on: September 04, 2013, 19:49 »
 :D

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LittleRedHen

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Re: Advice for men
« Reply #4 on: September 07, 2013, 12:52 »
 ;) ;)
When I die I will slide in sideways, a glass of wine in one hand and chocolate in the other, screaming, "Whooo hooo!  What a ride!" as life is to be enjoyed to the fullest!

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Tom Hill

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Re: Advice for men
« Reply #5 on: September 07, 2013, 13:02 »
WE ALWAYS HEAR 'THE RULES' FROM THE FEMALE SIDE
NOW HERE ARE THE RULES FROM THE MALE SIDE

THESE ARE OUR RULES!

PLEASE NOTE. THESE ARE ALL NUMBERED #1 ON PURPOSE!

1. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.

1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT. YOU'RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT'S UP, PUT IT DOWN. WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN. YOU DON'T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.

1. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.

1. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT. LET US BE CLEAR ON THIS ONE:

SUBTLE HINTS DO NOT WORK!
STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK!
OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK!
JUST SAY IT!

1. YES AND NO ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION.

1.. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM ONLY IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT'S WHAT WE DO. SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.

1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT. IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS.

1. IF YOU THINK YOU'RE FAT, YOU PROBABLY ARE. DON'T ASK US.

1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE.

1. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE. NOT BOTH.
IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO DO IT, JUST DO IT YOURSELF.

1. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY DURING COMMERCIALS.

1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE...

1. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS, LIKE WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS..
PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A COLOR. PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.

1. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY 'NOTHING,' WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING'S WRONG. WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS JUST NOT WORTH THE HASSLE.

1. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON'T WANT AN ANSWER TO, EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR..

1. WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE...REALLY.

1.. DON'T ASK US WHAT WE'RE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS SUCH TOPICS AS FOOTBALL OR MOTOR SPORTS.

1. YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES.

1 .. YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES.

1. I AM IN SHAPE. ROUND IS A SHAPE!

1.. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS. YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH TONIGHT.. BUT DID YOU KNOW MEN REALLY DON'T MIND THAT? IT'S LIKE CAMPING...

PASS THIS TO AS MANY MEN AS YOU CAN - TO GIVE THEM A LAUGH...

PASS THIS TO AS MANY WOMEN AS YOU CAN - TO GIVE THEM A BIGGER LAUGH, BECAUSE ITS TRUE!
Sometimes it is better to keep your mouth shut and be suspected of knowing nothing than opening it and proving it.

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mumofstig

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Re: Advice for men
« Reply #6 on: September 07, 2013, 13:09 »
 Tom - what has that got to do with chickens?  :blink:

 :nowink:
Lesley x
I'm not good, I'm not bad - I'm just me, and sometimes I have to apologise for that ;)
Diary comments
https://chat.allotment-garden.org/index.php?topic=56565.msg666947#msg666947

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Beetroot Queen

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Re: Advice for men
« Reply #7 on: September 07, 2013, 13:11 »
I agree with the mauve  ::) hubby cant do lilac either its blue apparently.

A lot of truth in that but of course that statement self destructs in 3 seconds  :tongue2:

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Sparkyrog

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Re: Advice for men
« Reply #8 on: September 07, 2013, 13:15 »
Tom that is hilarious and oh so true  :lol: :lol:

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nerdle

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Re: Advice for men
« Reply #9 on: September 08, 2013, 09:46 »
Sparkyrog is a MAN :lol:



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