[arugula]

  Well typed G!

[John]

Killer joke

ROFLOL

[GTFC197]

try typing it and see how long it takes you, 

not easy when you have to mis-spell on purpose.

[Christo]

Superbly typed G. Made me cackle. 

[Thrift]

Very good!!

[8doubles]

It`s a cracker.

[davethespread]

if vegetarians like animals so much.....why do they eat all their food?

[arugula]

 

 

[Aunt Sally]

One cold night a man is sat by the fire watching his favourite television programme. The wind is howling and all of a sudden there is a tap, tap, tap on the door. The man thinks nothing of it and gets back to his telly. Five minutes pass and there it goes again, tap, tap, tap. So in a bit of a mood he gets up and opens the door. No one there! So he goes back and sits down. Just as before there is a little tap, tap, tap on the door. Up he gets again and opens the door. A quiet little voice shouts out “down here”, the man looks down, and at his feet is a little snail.

The man says rather sternly “WHAT DO YOU WANT?” “I’m cold and hungry, can I come in and sit by the fire and have something to eat”? Says the snail. “NO”, says the man and he lifts his foot, swings it back and takes an almighty swing and kicks the snail right over the garden wall. The man sits down and gets back to his programme.

Six months pass and the man is having his lunch when he hears a little tap, tap, tap on the front door. He thinks to himself for a while and then goes to answer the door. There at his feet is the same little snail and the man says again “What do you want”? And the snail answers back in a little forlorn voice, “What did you do that for?”

[Foghorn-Leghorn]

You would think that if you pulled a snail's shell off then it would be able to move faster.  I tried it but if anything it seemed to be more sluggish.



                                                                                   (sorry!)

[horsepooisgood]

Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army.
On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb.
That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair.

On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush.
That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.

On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap.

The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years

[davethespread]

my uncle was struck off yesterday for having sex with his patients


shame because he was a dam good vet

[GTFC197]

 

[GTFC197]

                                           
                                   
                           -" " "-

                     ,;'( o )  ( o )';,

                     ;';.  (o o)  .;';

                   (;;' (_____)';;')

                     ";:;.,'---',.;:;



 You posh person,  you have a computer with a built in mirror.
                                 

[GTFC197]

A friend of mine is dating a pair of twins.

I said,

"How do you tell them apart?".

"Not a problem", he replied,

"Julie has got long blonde hair, and Dereks got a moustache".