The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!

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Growster...

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #3795 on: June 19, 2019, 06:36 »
Jay, I think he may have taken a shine to a certain lass for a joint effort...

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Goosegirl

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #3796 on: June 19, 2019, 12:13 »
Is the lass Polish by any chance?
I work very hard so don't expect me to think as well.

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JayG

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #3797 on: June 19, 2019, 12:44 »
Dual nationality actually GG (French Polish.)
Sow your seeds, plant your plants. What's the difference? A couple of weeks or more when answering possible queries!

One of the best things about being an orang-utan is the fact that you don't lose your good looks as you get older

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Growster...

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #3798 on: June 19, 2019, 20:06 »
Could have been a matt Finnish, Jay!

We're not out of the EU yet...

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DanielCoffey

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #3799 on: June 21, 2019, 09:13 »
If a bee lands on your hand, what have you got in your eye?

Beauty. Because beauty is in the eye of the bee holder!

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Pescador

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #3800 on: June 21, 2019, 10:52 »
Lost cat?
Missing cat.jpg
Every Pickle Helps!

Paul's Preserves and Pickles.

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John

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #3801 on: June 21, 2019, 21:12 »
Lost cat?
I've been out in a storm checking sheds and calling for a missing moggy... who was sitting having a wash on my bed when I returned. :)
Check out our books - ideal presents

John and Val Harrison's Books
 

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Growster...

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #3802 on: June 23, 2019, 17:50 »
I was thinking of having another tattoo this year. But I'm not too keen on the bagpipes, and I don't think our garden is big enough...

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Pescador

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #3803 on: June 23, 2019, 18:00 »
It'll be a few more weeks before it's safe for a few days only.
Then back in the box with me!!
Dog in box.png

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rogerbodger

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #3804 on: June 24, 2019, 17:55 »
A man rushed into the doctor's surgery and shouted, "Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!"

The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down. You'll just have to be a little patient."

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DanielCoffey

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #3805 on: June 25, 2019, 10:28 »
What sort of dog do you want in the kitchen when you are making Strawberry Jam?

A Setter.

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mrs bouquet

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #3806 on: June 25, 2019, 13:56 »
Oh boy, do I need some laughs at the moment  :ohmy:  Mrs B
Birds in cages do not sing  -  They are crying.

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rogerbodger

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #3807 on: June 25, 2019, 19:06 »
As the lumberjack started to swing at the tree it suddenly shouted, “Wait! I’m a talking tree!”
The lumberjack grinned and said, “And you will dialogue!”

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rogerbodger

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #3808 on: July 02, 2019, 18:53 »
Did you hear about the limo driver who was in business for 25 years without a single customer?
All that time and nothing to chauffeur it.

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Growster...

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #3809 on: July 03, 2019, 05:54 »
Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called in a repairman.
 
Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman,
"I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check.
Oh, by the way don't worry about my dog Spike. He won't bother you."

"But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!"

"I MUST STRESS TO YOU: DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!"

When the repairman arrived at Wanda 's apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking dog he has ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work, occasionally licking his paws, and rolling over.

The parrot, however, drove him absolutely nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling.

Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled, "Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!"

To which the parrot replied: -

"Get him Spike!"

See - Men just don't listen!



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