[AlaninCarlisle]

I bought a B&Q picnic bench. Flat-pack for home assembly. Really solid, heavy wood parts. Final product could easily seat 6 adults in comfort. However putting it together was a real struggle for a mere mortal with just two hands. After an afternoon of hard labour, I stepped back to admire it and had mentally started penning the letter to B&Q head-office saying that even though I was getting on a bit I still had my strength and it was just too difficult for single handed assembly.

Then I read the instruction leaflet to see if it gave an address for their HQ to send the letter to. What a fool I felt. It clearly recommended two people as being necessary for assembly.

Anyone else nearly put their foot in it lately?

[goose]

next door was having a clear out and asked if we would like a jigsaw....great...my dad loves them, I will give it to him when he visits next month..

anyway, me and mr goose decide to do it as we thought it would only take us a couple of hours.

so 2 nights later, up till 2am refusing to give up on it...we eventually finished it but it has seriously eaten up on our daylight hours ..jigsaws should come with a public health warning as they are seriously addictive and reduces your alterness the following day!

[mrs bouquet]

Rang SSE about a letter advising me the DD was changing from £67 to £45.     I assumed that nothing ever goes down, and so misread it, and thought it was changing up.    The lady I spoke to thought it was funny, and I thought How Daft, can I get    Mrs Bouquet

[wighty]

This isn't a 'nearly' this is one I did.  The TV in the little lounge refused to work so we 'borrowed' the one from the kitchen.  Had the other TV repaired so I took the kitchen one back and plugged it in.  No picture, have you plugged the aerial in, I was asked.  'Of course I have, you will have to retune it as it is now on the other aerial.  (On our house there is one for the TV at the front and one at the back as we are in a dip and reception can be poor).  Paul retuned the TV, still no picture.  When he checked I had plugged the aerial into one of the holes the manufacturer had made to encase the screw that holds the back on!  No wonder I couldn't get a picture. 

[sospan]

Life with a head injury seems to be about lurching from one daft moment to another. A few days ago my wife asked me to get the hoe from the shed what did I come back with - a trowel 

Same as doing anything involving cutting - measure twice, cut once yeah right - measure umpteen times forget the majority of times, measure twice then cut in the wrong place.  Or need 10 pieces of timber all the same size - cut 7 ok, then 5 five of completely different sizes

Or putting the dishes in the fridge instead of the cupboard 

at least there is a funny size - yes that is what I just wrote instead of funny side 

[mrs bouquet]

sospan, I do those sort of things all the time, with or without a head injury    I have just cut birthday wrapping paper too small, now it doesn't fit round the gift and I've run out of paper    Mrs Bouquet

[Goosegirl]

MB, that's normal!!

[sospan]

sospan, I do those sort of things all the time, with or without a head injury    I have just cut birthday wrapping paper too small, now it doesn't fit round the gift and I've run out of paper    Mrs Bouquet

There was the OCD episde - Obsessive Celery Disorder.  As part of my rehab, I had to relearn how to cook. When I was following a recipe I was preparing the vegetables one part required some celery, I knew we had some but couldn't find it, hunted high and low couldn't find it.  My wife took me to a local supermarket to get some celery. Going around was a struggle but got some bits and pieces, paid and put them in the boot. Just as we were leaving the car park,  I realised that I had forgotten the celery. 

So rather than turn back my wife called in at a small convenience store and bought celery.  When she went to put it in the boot, top of the shopping from earlier were two packs of celery ! To make matters worse when we got back to the house, next to the chopping board was a big pile of celery -  I had forgotten that I had cut it, hence there were no more in the veg rack when I looked.

as Homer says Doh, Doh, Doh!