i knew he didn't have long, i composed myself (and kept composed) the whole time at the vets, i spent a few minutes with him in the car after everyone had gone to bed, i thought i'd held myself up rather well,
what i never realised would be just how much i would miss him, i can't get my head round the fact he's not here anymore, last night i asked Pip "have you fed Casper?" (Casper has on numerous occasions been fed twice, once by me and then again by Pip not realising i'd already done it, and being the ever greedy dog wouldn't refuse second tea) when i'm going to let the chooks out i go to get him and then when i see the sofa empty i remember he's gone, i miss him so very much