[tosca100]

Beware of ever letting them know you have food in the house! They will literally fall over each other and themselves to get at the slightest crumb, they are intensely greedy (if the isn't already clear! ) and probably trip you up in the process.

[tosca100]

And do be careful at the kitchen step. It doesn't matter how much you push them out of the way with your foot, they will be back before your foot hits the ground (or chook ) and you will go a over t trying to avoid treading on and squishing the little b... I mean darlings.

[SnooziSuzi]

Don't wear red nail varnish (this is a tip for you boys )  They'll relentlessly peck at your fingertips til they bleed thinking they're berries.

[New shoot]

Your lawn = their salad bar/ideal spot for digging big hole to dust bathe in
Your borders = worm hunting ground/ideal spot for digging big hole to dust bathe in
Your pots = if topped with grit - much more tasty that the stuff in the grit feeder
Your garden bench = ideal perching spot, also good for pooping on
Your plants = often worth tasting, if no good, dig a big hole, chuck them out the way and dust bathe

Waddya mean 'Your' garden.  That was before you got us  

[SnooziSuzi]

that is sooooo true, New Shoot!

[Robbo]

 I thought that was the normal gear, P.Js doesn't everyone, my OH told me when we started, "See to your animals before you see to yourself" , they wouldn't recognise me in anything else
Oh Yes plus anorac Summer 2012

[Beano]

Your coop cleaning WILL be inspected immediately and commented on by at least one chook.

[nerdle]

Easier to get hen poo off a vinyl floor than a carpet or a doormat.

Easier to get the dog out of its bed than the hen (who likes the feel of acrylic blankets).

The footpath will never be poo free again no matter how often you sweep. Your garden shoe soles will have a permanent thick white crust.

[nic_28]

they are basically ninjas. 
Stealing other peoples food at any opportunity. Beady wee eyes.
You cant have picnics in the garden anymore. They are relentless.
If they see you have food, You must run far away! .
You will never hear a chicken ask "wheres the rubber gloves, Nic?, Ive just done a belter over here and I'd hate for the kids to step in it"  chickens can't speak.
Get hanging baskets, and wave goodbye to fashion

You will instantly love they way they run, in slow motion with Chariots of Fire playing. They do this for grapes.

You will become obsessed with them, and their enigmatic aura. 

[ma baker]

My personal favourite is the Benny Hill chase when one finds a worm and the others notice!

Chickens will always do a poo on clean slabs, you can turn this into a game and bet on which chicken and which slab.

I have an old pair of my husbands trainers near the back door (as they fit all of us) and in those and my red fluffy dressing gown I get the chooks up every morning at 5.30, I thought I was the only one and that every one else goes out in full make up and fully clothed (lol)

chickens will tell you very loudly when they have been good enough to deserve a treat and run up and down the fence to get your attention.

But above all they will give you hours of amusement, they all have their own personalities and they are worth the winter mornings sliding on muck and ice to liberate them from the coop.

[tosca100]

Hummmm, my OH beats the fluffy dressing gown! He is out there at 4am on our days off, in the buff and a pair of crocs, to let the little darlings out, as that is the time they go out on work days, and they will object if their routine is disrupted.

Not sure that isn't a mite dangerous though!!!!!!

[ma baker]

It would certainly be one for the Darwin Awards though. Lets hope he continues to be safe 

[ANHBUC]

Hummmm, my OH beats the fluffy dressing gown! He is out there at 4am on our days off, in the buff and a pair of crocs, to let the little darlings out, as that is the time they go out on work days, and they will object if their routine is disrupted.

Not sure that isn't a mite dangerous though!!!!!!

I suppose it saves him getting a shower on a morning with the weather we have been having this summer!!!   

[grinling]

Doesn't matter how high a fence is, chickens can fly.

It is a lot quicker taking down a chicken run than putting one up.

[pigeonpie]

Ha ha ha.  Haven't been on here recently and this has really made me chortle!   

You can throw handfuls of wheat on the ground but the tastiest bits are the few grains left in your bowl which one clever little soul will always attempt to fly on to whilst you still hold it.

Chickens can smell the fear in those who do not "do chickens" and will plague them, jump at them, peck them and generally make sure that they take notice.

No matter how good they pretend they are at laying their eggs in the correct place there will always be at least one egg that you find months later in the strangest of places.  I have had girls who have insisted on escaping just so they can lay an egg somewhere different for a change.  I wouldn't mind so much if they then became broody but my ex-bat girls seem to see it as more of a sport!

Having said all that, I wouldn't change them for the world.  (Although I may toilet train them or encourage them to wear nappies - I skidded a good 4 foot today on a particularly slimy poop!)