… because you are not on the same medication as Hamsters! Here's some more suggestions from GG's very tired brain:-
1) A dog whistle for asthmatics. Tie some string onto either end of the wooden bit, loop the rest round the hooks, then hold the contraption by the hooks and whizz it around your head. If your dog runs away it needs re-tuning. If you don't have a dog but other people's suddenly come a'running, wang it over the nearest tree branch and use it like a ladder as a means of escape.
2) A splint for a three-legged animal available in three different lengths.
3) A pain reliever before anaesthetics were introduced, though biting through it was not recommended if you hadn't had regular dental examinations.
4) A swing for Hamsters when he gets fed up with his wheel.
5) The remnants from an Ikea self-assemble deckchair.
6) A temporary reed-replacement part for a church organ pipe.
7) A spirit level for wonky houses.
A pack of two environmentally-friendly pencils (i.e. lead free).
9) A prototype for a new version of Pooh Sticks.
10) A medieval dousing instrument.