[Growster...]

...boiled offal and potatoes, made to look like...

[Yorkie]

... a Terry's chocolate orange ...

[snowdrops]

Silas looked down at his feet & began to shuffle uncomfortably, he opened his mouth to reply but the Queen of Hearts carried on saying...

[Growster...]

...now you listen here, young Silas you scamp, Alice has got enough problems as it is, what with the unfortunate experience at the...

[Debz]

allotment when that squirrel exposed........

[Growster...]

...its...

[Debz]

wicked foraging side and ate all the sweetcorn before it was ripe.  Poor Alice had been looking forward to

[New shoot]

...homegrown sweetcorn and....

But Silas could stand no more and shouted 'Quiet Queenie.  Your incessant moaning is quite too much to bear.  Do you not know that I am The Great Silas and beyond all reproach"

The room fell silent and everyone looked on in horror.  Was he drunk, deluded or finally and forever just lost the plot???  No-one dared speak, then ...

[Growster...]

...Silas looked around and saw that everyone was looking at him in a pitying sort of way, so he girded his gander-bag, hefted his haversack, sproddled his nodules and made a...

[Goosegirl]

… beeline for the nearest hostelry to calm his shattered nerves and restore his dignity. After a tincture or several he headed to the gent's only to find he'd caught a bit of his string vest in his flies. Being an ex-boy scout he rummaged in his pockets for his trusty penknife and un-picked a few stitches down one side. Feeling mightily relieved he was wandering back in the direction of the bar, then somehow he took a wrong turn and found himself standing in front of a very large and full-length mirror. After tucking the remains of his vest back into his flies which by now were looking rather insecurely attached, he looked back into the mirror and saw a strange mist swirling around him, and a voice suddenly said "I am the ghost of Christmas Past and I've come to tell you …….

[Yorkie]

... that John Harrison's book "Dig for Victory" is spot on, and if you've run out of ideas for Christmas presents, you could do worse than that.  However ...

[Growster...]

...because he hadn't actually ever learned to read and only look at the pictures in books, his simple mind took in the visions ofcarrots and parsnips, leeks and beetroot, and decided that if he ever had to spend the three groats pocket-money he was allowed per month, to buy these things, he might just as well...

[snowdrops]

Go forth & find him a small patch of earth to grow his own. Without further ado off he went to find....

[New shoot]

...some seeds. Silas was a ready recruit to the ranks of the seedaholics and quickly found a hardware store with a display of inviting looking packs sporting glorious pictures of the veg he dreamed of.

The shopkeeper noticed his interest and whispered to him ‘Now if you be interested in them, what’d you be thinking of these magic beans’ and pulled some odd looking seeds out from behind his cash register.  Silas edged closer and ...

[Growster...]

... looking at the pictures on the packets, decided that these would be a perfect gift for Alice, as he needed a...