[Anton]

I don't know if anyone has posed this question but can you fellow gardeners think of any decent gardening jokes?
I thought it would be fun to hear any you might have.

Here is my contribution. Excuse me if I have posted this joke before.
My technique for tackling slugs is to take six bottles of Triple Westmalle (very strong Belgian beer - at this point people often chime in with the oh I know the beer trap method), drink the first bottle, then the second one, then the third one,... the Sixth.  After this you will still have just as many slugs as before but by the time you have drunk six Triple Westmalle's you won't 't give a sod about the the despicable creatures!

Anton

[Yorkie]

My single go-to joke, no matter the occasion ...

What's brown and sticky?








A stick 
(Well it's related to nature, at least    )

[megaross]

Don't know mulch about gardening jokes I'm afraid.

[mumofstig]

New gardeners learn by by trowel and error

[whaleroad]

Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel prize?

Because he was out standing in his field.

[juvenal]

"I haven't seen your husband lately". I said to a woman friend.

"No wonder", she said. "He's dead.."

"My God!. I am sorry", I said. "How did that happen?"

"Last Sunday morning..", she said. "I sent him down to the allotment to cut a cauliflower for Sunday dinner. It seems his heart just went, and they found him dead on the plot.."

"How dreadful! What on earth did you do?"

"We had to open a tin of peas..", she said.

[hamstergbert]

"Folks say I'm strange because I love gooseberries."
"Don't see why - I love gooseberries too."
"Great - would you like to see my collection, I've got hundreds in my albums..."

[mrs bouquet]

This isn't a joke as such, but made me laugh.

An elderly friend told us she had trouble with her gardener, but said he is ancient.  He told her he had lost his hearing aid and was it in her garden.   She searched her garden front and back and then did it again.  She is 92
The hearing aid was never found.   I told her to dig over the compost, just in case.     It made us laugh.  Mrs B