[Cavolo Hero]

At the allotment, I tripped over some rubbley bits behind the big shed and cut my knee open.
 It needed 4 stitches… 

[Goosegirl]

Tripping over my garden hose and falling onto a low wall and I bruised my ribs and had to postpone a holiday with rellies.

[AndyRVTR]

Sort of gardening related.. I was self employed landscape gardener busy trimming a laurel hedge one day with a big hs81 hedge cutter. I stepped back to check my work and forgot there was a steel railing around 18" high behind me, I fell backwards onto a tarmac footpath, hedgecutter in hand landing on my back and cracked a couple of ribs! Luckily for me, the hedge cutter had stopped running as it landed on my chest, otherwise it could have been a different story. 

[Yorkie]

Tripped over my loppers on the ground last Sunday. Landed on them on one knee. Fell into a pile of brambles and went Owwww.

GP says the swelling and numbness (from the affected nerves) should go within the month, hopefully!

[snowdrops]

Was trying to saw through a rotten apple tree that we’d been using to fasten an old gazebo to that was my fruit cage. Having had a new fruit cage that was slightly bigger, I kept squeezing between said apple tree and new cage. Decided to remove the apple tree to save injuring myself  I started to saw it with my neighbours bow saw, that he lent me. He was watching (did offer to do it but no I’m ok). Then he said just give it some welly it’ll pull out, so I did, but he wasn’t aware I’d already sawed half way through. Gave it a humongous pull, it broke, flipped up & bonked me on the head as I fell over (luckily I’d moved the big hairy bow saw well out of the way, so didn’t land on that. Talk about seeing stars. All was fine for 4 days. Until in the afternoon I caught sight of myself in the mirror. A classic case of panda eyes.  A phone call to the Dr, who wanted to see me, sent me off to A&E & a CT scan later, it was found I did have a brain!
See photos of the damage.

[Lardman]

See photos of the damage.

       

[Cavolo Hero]

Oh my goodness @snowdrops! 
How long did it take for the bruises to go?

@Yorkie - OUCH!
How are you feeling now, one week on?

@AndyRVTR I was holding my breath reading your story. Glad the hedge cutter had a safety cut off mechanism 

@Goosegirl - another OUCH! Bruised ribs are so painful!

Anyone here who has done the classic stepping onto the tines of a rake?! (Me!   )

[snowdrops]

Around 6-8 weeks for there to be no sign of it!

[upert]

OTHER PLOTHOLDERS!

Either creating mayhem which spills over onto my plot or asking for help all the time, when they can see you're inundated on your own patch. Trying to cadge your fruit and veg as they can't be bothered growing their own. Getting jealous of your prize-winning produce and then stealing it. Demanding your chop their trees down, complaining they weren't there when you did it, and demading you take the root out too!

I've provided a lot of help in the past but people seem to get used to it and want more. They'll not help you though. I still mow old peoples' paths and plots yet I wish they'd ask their own kids to do it.

Rant over.

[New shoot]

There is nothing worse than being taken for granted when you are putting yourself out to help.  A good rant is needed periodically and is way better for you than stewing over things