The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!

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Blackpool rocket

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4140 on: October 09, 2021, 15:43 »
I've just watched a documentary about sponges.






It was very absorbing.

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Tenhens

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4141 on: October 12, 2021, 18:10 »
Someone has stolen the toilet from our local police station..

Asked if they had any clues the detective in charge stated "At the moment we have nothing to go on!"

They might have when the paper works done.
we also rescue rabbits and guinea pigs,grow own veg

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Growster...

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4142 on: October 18, 2021, 07:27 »
Late one night a seriously drunk chap is showing some friends around his brand-new apartment. The last stop is the bedroom, where a big brass gong sits next to the bed.

“What’s that gong for?” a friend asks him.

“It’s not a gong,” the chap replies. “It’s actually a talking clock.”

“You’re crazy. Show me how it works then!” says his chum.

The chap picks up a hammer, gives the gong an ear-shattering clout, and steps back.

Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screams, “For God’s sake…it’s 3:30 in the blasted morning!

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Growster...

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4143 on: November 12, 2021, 17:18 »
Johnson & Johnson is going to split it's business into two companies.

One will be called Johnson.
And the other will be called Johnson...

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Welsh Merf

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4144 on: November 13, 2021, 11:06 »
Paddy and his new girlfriend are in the car together, on a dark winter's night, down a remote country lane.

The kissing and canoodling starts, and she asks, 'Paddy, do you fancy going on the back seat?'

'No!' he replies quickly, and the kissing and canoodling continues. Soon, the windows begin to steam up, and the girlfriend asks again, this time breathless with anticipation. 'Paddy, do you want to go on the back seat?'

'No!' he replies again. 'Not a chance!'

'Why not?' she asks, her feelings hurt, and not understanding what's going through his mind.

'I want to stay in the front with you,' he replies.

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John

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4145 on: November 13, 2021, 18:31 »
'I want to stay in the front with you,' he replies.
Killer!  :D :D :D
Check out our books - ideal presents

John and Val Harrison's Books
 

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wighty

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4146 on: November 14, 2021, 17:58 »
I'm sorry but that brought back a few memories.  ;) As a 'patrolling officer'  I have pushed out a few cars who have 'hidden themselves' and then got stuck.   :D

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Lardman

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4147 on: November 14, 2021, 18:20 »
I think Welsh Merf should get extra credit for the use of the word "canoodling".
nosce te ipsum : I'm the person the monsters under your bed are hiding from.

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Blackpool rocket

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4148 on: November 16, 2021, 15:12 »
Mrs Rocket has drunk a glass of invisible ink.

I've taken her to A&E where she's waiting to be seen.

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Blackpool rocket

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4149 on: December 01, 2021, 17:29 »
Gravity is the most fundamental force in the universe, but...
What would happen if you took it away?





You'd have nothing left except gravy 

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Growster...

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4150 on: December 02, 2021, 05:27 »
With the severity of Storm Arwen last week, I'm really worried about all the trees in our garden!

Mostly because we didn't have any before....

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Blackpool rocket

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4151 on: December 07, 2021, 17:32 »
I've got a copy of the 1982 Radio Times if anyone wants to know what's on the BBC this Christmas.

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Blackpool rocket

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4152 on: December 13, 2021, 23:26 »
I went to an Eskimo restaurant last night.
I asked what was on the menu.
"Whale meat, whale meat, or you can try a Vera Lynn"
"What's that?" I asked



"Whale meat again"

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John

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4153 on: December 14, 2021, 00:11 »
Can't resist posting a link to Jim Capaldi's Whale Meat Again - great song.

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Growster...

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4154 on: December 15, 2021, 06:01 »
The John O' Groats football team's coach driver has resigned after their heavy defeat in a friendly away at Land's End.

When asked why, he said he'd taken them as far as he could !



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