[savbo]

remember seeing this in the news...a few years ago a Good samaritan helped some young lads in Northern ireland pushing a car up hill along a country road... they got it to a downhill and jumped in, thanking him, and he went on his way...

day or two later he found out they'd nicked it but couldn't hot wire it

sav

[yorky]

The England team visited an orphanage in Poland today. "It's heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope" said Piotr, aged 6.

[allot2learn]

The royal corgis are overjoyed that Prince Phillip has come home from hospital.


At least they won't get blamed for peeing on the sofa now.

[aelf]

There has been uproar in the Irish Olympic synchronized swimming team when paddy accused mick of copying him.

[BussinSpain]

What do you call nuts on a wall?

[hamstergbert]

What do you call nuts on a wall?

climbers!

[mumofstig]

 

[Growster...]

What do you call nuts on a wall?

"Nuuuuuuts, are you up there..."?

[BussinSpain]

What do you call nuts on a wall?

climbers!

nope!  walnuts!

[lacewing]

On arrival in Australia, an englishman was asked by emigration officer if he had a criminal record.  To which he replied, I didn't  know it was still a requirement.

[hamstergbert]

The CRB people  asked me if I had a police record.

Told them I had 'message in a bottle'.

[Goosegirl]

A trip down the Goon's memory lane..........
Neddy Seagoon explaining the Theory of Gravity to Eccles:
If you jump up in the air - what happens next?
....der...um ... der... I come down again.
Why?
....because I live here!!!!  

[Paul Plots]

A college class was told they had to write a short story in as few words as possible.

The instructions were:

The short story must contain the following three things:

• Religion
• Sexuality
• Mystery

Below is the only A+ graded short story in the entire class:

“Good God, I’m pregnant; I wonder who did it?”

[Auntiemogs]

 

[pigeonpie]

Ha ha, brilliant!!!