[Growster...]

So what is the view on the noise these comestibles make when being prepared then?

Leeks just 'squeal', carrots 'crunk', and celery 'ploinks'!

I'm sure others here have better noises, or even improvements on 'squeals', 'crunks' and 'ploinks'!

[mrs bouquet]

What noise do sprouts make ?    My celery makes a sort of rasping sound as I try to peel the stringy outside away.     Mrs Bouquet

[New shoot]

Cabbage creaks when you pull the leaves apart, at least fresh plot grown stuff does.  Lettuce shuffles as you chop it and potatoes keeerrrshunk as you slice them.

Sprouts are sneaky Mrs B.  They stay silent and then let rip hours after you have eaten them ... or maybe that it just the effect they have on OH   

[JayG]

I find that trying to thinly slice the rind off a mature winter squash without losing any fingers fills the air with sounds I believe to be of Anglo Saxon origin (and they're not coming from the squash! )

[Growster...]

Ha ha ha! Love all these!

The noises are very illuminating (or ruminating in News' reply), as they also tell a tale about freshness (or not in News' OH's case..;0)

Peeling an old potato is more physical, with a 'nurdge' across the surface with a spud-basher, but a new spud takes a 'scrarp', and is usually done with a special knife for that particular purpose!

[mrs bouquet]

Lemons, they can be spiteful.   When a squeeze goes in your eye, or the juice gets in a finger cut, the sounds are a bit like those of JayG !    Mrs Bouquet

[Goosegirl]

Caulis tell you cool it, beetroots tell you to beat it, leeks tell you to seal it, oregano tells you to fold it (sort of) and mandrakes tell you to man-up! 

[Growster...]

Cabbage asks questions like 'Been anywhere nice for yer 'olidays, Guv', or 'Look at that idiot over there driving like a madman'...

How exactly a vegetable can talk like a taxi driver is a quandary which will worry me for some considerable time...

[mrs bouquet]

I picked up a pear today and got the fruit knife.  I distinctly heard the pear  say,   I love you, I really really love you, please don't do it, I shall be really cut up.        Mrs Bouquet

[8doubles]

A Tomato plant* i was watering early one morning squealed at me !
I did not expect that !

Nearly pooped !





* also a hidden frog !