As you may know, we share our house with too many cats. It's a long story so I'll get straight to the tale.
How Not to Make a Ham Sandwich
Take two slices of bread, place on the board and butter them.
Turn to and open the fridge, remove packet of ham and deter cat from attempting to jump into the fridge. Cat then commences miaowing and leg rubbing, so pinch off a little and give it to her.
Turn to the breadboard to discover another cat happily licking the butter off the bread.
Shout at cat, place ham down by the fridge and retrieve the bread and butter which now goes into the compost bin.
Turn back to fridge and the ham has vanished! See the packet being dragged through the cat flap.
Open the cupboard, take out packet of crisps and retreat....
Some days it's best not to get out of bed....