[hillfooter]

Did I just spot a cultural joke  Surely not on this site?  As a friend of mine was often fond of quoting:..............

Edit: That particular saying must be doing the rounds at the moment because this is the third time I've removed it form the Forum in about a week  
 



Oh that must be why I've never seen it on here!

If you removed every old joke mom there would be no point in posting any. 

The particular 'joke' in question was removed because it was offensive and did not fit with this forum's family-friendly policy - not because it was an old joke.

Thanks for the clarification Yorkie however I think I was maybe being a little too subtle with the play on words here and maybe if what I actually wrote was still here to read and not what you think was written, you would see it wasn't offensive.  I did try to carefully craft the words.

At least I certainly would hope no one would find it offensive because it wasn't intended to be.

HF

[Aunt Sally]

HF if you continue to argue with moderators the last laugh in the joke topic (which I have long wanted to axe) will be ON you.

You must play nice and not argue in public with moderators or go for and early bath !  Your choice.

[hillfooter]

HF if you continue to argue with moderators the last laugh in the joke topic (which I have long wanted to axe) will be ON you.

You must play nice and not argue in public with moderators or go for and early bath !  Your choice.

Sorry Auntie and Yorkie I'll be good from now on as I don't want an early bath
HF

[Lindeggs]

And none of us wants to witness HF taking an early bath!  :blink:

[Ice]

Now lets get back on topic........A horse walks into a bar.........

[JayG]

OK! 

Man walks into a bar with a Giant Crested Newt on his shoulder.

"Does it have a name?" asks the barman.

"Yes, it's called 'Tiny'," the man replies.

"Tiny?" queries the barman, "that's a strange name - is it your pet?"

"Yes, it's minute," replied the man.

[mumofstig]

 

[Aunt Sally]

Now lets get back on topic........A horse walks into a bar.........

... and the barman says "Why the long face ? "

[JayG]

Grizzly walks into a bar and says "I'd like a whisky and.......................soda, please."

Barman asks "Why the big pause?"

Grizzly replies "Dunno really, guess I've always had them."

[aelf]

Now lets get back on topic........A horse walks into a bar.........

... and the barman says "Why the long face ? "

Imagine the scene...

The sun blazing down on a hot Serengeti Plain, a lone Zebra chomping methodically on the tall grass. Suddenly a Lion leaps from behind an acacia tree onto the Zebra's back. The Zebra looks at the Lion and the Lion says...


Why the long face? 

[hamstergbert]

A horse walks into a bar.........

.....clang!  (It was an iron bar)

[davethespread]

a white horse walks into a bar and says "can i have a whiskey please barman" so the barman says "sure what one do you want? we have bells,teachers,famous grouse, we even have one named after you. so the horse says"what eric?"

[pigeonpie]

I can't remember if this has already been posted on here.  Apologies if it has! 

A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her faithful, elderly poodle  named Cuddles along for the company. 

One day the old poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.

The old poodle thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap the old poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?"

Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!", says the leopard, "That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!"

Meanwhile, a monkey  who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up.

The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.
 
The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!
 
Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says...
 
"Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!
 
Moral of this story....
 
Don't mess with the old dogs...age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery! Bull**** and brilliance only come with age and experience.

[aelf]

Celine Dion walks into a bar. The barman says...



Why the long face?

 

[Growster...]

A Frenchman walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.

The barman says "Aw, that's lovely, where did you get him"?

The parrot replies "Well, France of course, he lives there"!