[hamstergbert]

How many black labradors does it take to change a lightbulb oohlightbulbsthey're my favouritecanI chaseone willyouthrowsticksforme gotadogbiscuitinyourpocket Ilikemudlookthere'sanotherdogwonderwhatitsmellslike arewegoingwalkieswhat is that thingthereforcanIeatitwonderifthatwomanhassandwichesinthatbag betshe'dletmehaveonewhatanintersetingsmellonthispost  etcetcetc..................................

[min200]

A few minutes before the church services started, the congregation were
sitting in their pews and talking.
Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church.
Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance,
trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil
incarnate.
Soon the church was empty except for one elderly gentleman who sat
calmly in his pew without moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that
God's ultimate enemy was in his presence..
So Satan walked up to the man and said, 'Do you know who I am?'
The man replied, 'Yep, sure do.'
'Aren't you afraid of me?' Satan asked.
'Nope, sure ain't.' said the man.
'Don't you realize I can kill you with one word?' asked Satan.
'Don't doubt it for a minute,' returned the old man, in an even tone.
'Did you know that I can cause you profound, horrifying AGONY for all
eternity?' persisted Satan.
'Yep,' was the calm reply.
'And you are still not afraid?' asked Satan.
' Nope,' said the old man
More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, 'Why aren't you afraid of me?'
The man calmly replied,
'Been married to your sister for 48 years.'

[Growster...]

How many black labradors does it take to change a lightbulb oohlightbulbsthey're my favouritecanI chaseone willyouthrowsticksforme gotadogbiscuitinyourpocket Ilikemudlookthere'sanotherdogwonderwhatitsmellslike arewegoingwalkieswhat is that thingthereforcanIeatitwonderifthatwomanhassandwichesinthatbag betshe'dletmehaveonewhatanintersetingsmellonthispost  etcetcetc..................................

Tea-sur-keyboard...!

Ha ha ha...!

[catllar]

Overheard in pub: "Sent the wife for one of those fish pedicures as a treat. Worked a treat - those pyranhas don't mess about!"

[John]

Overheard in pub: "Sent the wife for one of those fish pedicures as a treat. Worked a treat - those pyranhas don't mess about!"

I'm not laughing at that joke, dear - honest 

[pigeonpie]

I applied to go on How to Look Good Naked

I got a letter back from Channel 4 saying

"I wasn't a suitable candidate" But had I

considered Scrapheap Challenge?

 

[mumofstig]

Hee Hee Hee 

[kosh42|EFG]

A C, an E-flat and a G walk into a bar.

"Sorry," says the barman. "We don't serve minors."

[hillfooter]

A C, an E-flat and a G walk into a bar.

"Sorry," says the barman. "We don't serve minors."

Did I just spot a cultural joke  Surely not on this site?  As a friend of mine was often fond of quoting:..............

Edit: That particular saying must be doing the rounds at the moment because this is the third time I've removed it form the Forum in about a week  
 

[pigeonpie]

What do we want?

A cure for memory Loss!

When do we want it?

Want what?

[mumofstig]

 





why am I laughing 

[hillfooter]

A C, an E-flat and a G walk into a bar.

"Sorry," says the barman. "We don't serve minors."

Did I just spot a cultural joke  Surely not on this site?  As a friend of mine was often fond of quoting:..............

Edit: That particular saying must be doing the rounds at the moment because this is the third time I've removed it form the Forum in about a week  
 

Oh that must be why I've never seen it on here!

If you removed every old joke mom there would be no point in posting any.  Why only yesterday I saw the memory loss joke on a 50's birthday card.  Or was it on Saturday?
HF

[stompy]

My wife was in the bathroom for hours getting dressed to go out when finally she swung open the door and asked "tell me honestly, do i look fat in this"?

I replied "yes love, but to be fair, it is a small bathroom"

[Growster...]

Two dogs and a cat went to the opera.

The head dog got up on his hind legs at the kiosk, and asked for three tickets in the stalls, and the cashier said

'What on earth do two dogs and a cat want at an opera, you've no cultural training, and we don't let animals in anyway'!

The head dog replied, 'Oh yes we do have a lot in common with classical music and opera, we know more than you think I assure you'!

The Cashier replied, 'What rubbish, I bet you don't know any composer's names'!

The head dog stands up again, points his paw to himself then the others and replies :-

'I Bach, he Offenbach, and this is Debussy...'!

[Yorkie]

Did I just spot a cultural joke  Surely not on this site?  As a friend of mine was often fond of quoting:..............

Edit: That particular saying must be doing the rounds at the moment because this is the third time I've removed it form the Forum in about a week  
 



Oh that must be why I've never seen it on here!

If you removed every old joke mom there would be no point in posting any. 

The particular 'joke' in question was removed because it was offensive and did not fit with this forum's family-friendly policy - not because it was an old joke.