[hamstergbert]

........and investigators in County Clare discovered what at first appeared to be a mass grave of snowmen but which on further examination turned out to be a field of carrots.

[Goosegirl]

It was a school boy, favourite - dog latin.  But it I agree, Yorkie.  We don't really need any more now, best to keep the topic inclusive to all members.

Yorkie's kind quote from the site policy states "Proper English is best" so may I point out some fundamental errors in your last post. You mis-spelt the word school which I now see has recently been corrected; there should be no comma after the word "boy," the word "Latin" is spelled with a capital "L" and "but it I agree" does not make any sense at all. We all live and learn.

[New shoot]

........and investigators in County Clare discovered what at first appeared to be a mass grave of snowmen but which on further examination turned out to be a field of carrots.

That is so daft, but has had me rolling around laughing 

[Goosegirl]

So love "The Snow man" so could have discovered a new coal mine! 

[Aunt Sally]

It was a school boy, favourite - dog latin.  But it I agree, Yorkie.  We don't really need any more now, best to keep the topic inclusive to all members.

Yorkie's kind quote from the site policy states "Proper English is best" so may I point out some fundamental errors in your last post. You mis-spelt the word school which I now see has recently been corrected; there should be no comma after the word "boy," the word "Latin" is spelled with a capital "L" and "but it I agree" does not make any sense at all. We all live and learn.

Thank you for your comments, GG.  Yes, you have found me out.  I am serverly dyslexic and the new tablet I'm using has no spell checker.   Good job we don't use hand writing here, I can't read that at all!

[rogerbodger]

Following the theme of Irish historians and investigators ...

After having dug to a depth of 10 metres last year, Scottish scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the Scots, in the weeks that followed, English scientists dug to a depth of 20 metres, and shortly after, headlines in the English newspapers read: 'English archaeologists have found traces of 200 year old copper wire and have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the Scots.'

One week later, 'The Kerryman,' a southwest Irish newsletter, reported the following: 'After digging as deep as 30 metres in peat bog near Tralee, Paddy O'Toole, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing..

Paddy has therefore concluded that 300 years ago Ireland had already gone wireless.'

[Snoop]

Rogerbodger, that was absolutely brilliant! 

[John]

Yorkie's kind quote from the site policy states "Proper English is best" so may I point out some fundamental errors in your last post. You mis-spelt the word school which I now see has recently been corrected; there should be no comma after the word "boy," the word "Latin" is spelled with a capital "L" and "but it I agree" does not make any sense at all. We all live and learn.

Knowledge is knowing that Latin is spelt with a capital, wisdom is knowing that nobody loves a smart-alec.

[New shoot]

Well said 

I got told this one today.

A man was sitting at home when he heard a knock on the door.  He opened it to find a snail on the doorstep, which he picked up and threw as far as he could.
Three years later, there is a knock at the door and the man opens it to find the same snail, who demands furiously 'What on earth was that all about?'

I'll get my coat 

[hamstergbert]

In the Trappist monastery all the brothers had taken a vow of total silence.   
However, the new Abbott decided that as an incentive, the brother who had shown himself to be most devout over the year could speak eight words to the assembled brothers in the refectory on New Year's Eve.

The first year, Brother Thomas was declared the most devout, and on New Year's Eve he stood before the assembled brethren and said "I hate the lumpy mashed potatoes we get!"  He then sat down.
The following year, Brother Francis was the winner, and on New Year's Eve he stood and declared "I hate the boiled cabbage - it's really tasteless!"  He then sat down.
The following year Brother Sebastian was singled out.  On New Years Eve he stood and said "Please stop perpetually whingeing about food!  Pax Vobiscum!"

The next year Brother Simon declared "Pax Vobiscum?  No Latin - the moderators will whinge!"

The year after that Brother Peter mumbled "Think I preferred everyone whingeing about the food!"

After that the Abbbot discontinued the practice...

[cadalot]

A centurion walks into a bar and asks for a Martinus. The barman says, "Don't you mean a Martini?" The centurion responds, "No - if I wanted a double, I’d have asked for one!"

Another centurion walls into the bar and hold up two fingers and says "five beers please"

[hamstergbert]

Roman hoteliers were not sure if one particular guest was illiterate or simply named Mr Ten

[Blackpool rocket]

Just to lighten the mood a little........

http://www.theboltonnews.co.uk/video/4612389865001/?ref=vidshare

Br

[New shoot]

Just to lighten the mood a little........

Good idea.  It is 'The Daily Funny - Give us a laugh' after all 

And that did - Mad for it!     

[Chrysalis]

Mmm! Crumpets!!