The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!

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Springlands

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #2940 on: April 24, 2015, 12:51 »
 :lol: Brilliant.  :lol:

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mumofstig

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #2941 on: April 24, 2015, 12:57 »
Quote
HGB: I'll get me coat

Will you keep it on - or maybe risk taking it off?  ;)

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hamstergbert

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #2942 on: April 24, 2015, 13:06 »
sorry, forgot:

Pol-shark : tale of a Cornish fisherman who gets sick of pilchards and find landing his new catch of porbeagles sufficiently hard work as to necessitate removing his shirt.  For a change.

Pol-start : Cornish hero who only undid half the buttons on his shirt due to being a beginner.

There was another one involving a Cornish chap whose shirt was blown off by his excessive flatulence but I can't remember what it was called.  Ahem.
The Dales - probably fingerprint marks where God's hand touched the world

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Snoop

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #2943 on: April 24, 2015, 14:40 »
Excellent!

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snowdrops

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #2944 on: April 24, 2015, 19:33 »
 :lol: :lol: :lol: maybe there should be a  Pol- tax on your jokes  :lol:
« Last Edit: April 24, 2015, 19:33 by snowdrops »
A woman's place is in her garden.

See my diary pages here
and add a comment here

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hamstergbert

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #2945 on: April 24, 2015, 21:17 »
as long as it just is a Pol-try amount, or even a poul-try amount (ie. chickenfeed).

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Goosegirl

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #2946 on: April 29, 2015, 16:19 »
Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum and Dad. Eromanga is a small town, west of Quilpie, in the far south west of Queensland.

Dear Mum & Dad,
I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin' on the station - tell them to get in blooming quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don't hafta get outta bed until 6am. But I like sleeping in now, cuz all ya gotta do before brekky is make ya bed and shine ya boots and clean ya uniform. No blooming horses to get in, no calves to feed, no troughs to clean - nothin'!! Ya haz gotta shower though, but its not so bad, coz there's lotsa hot water and even a light to see what ya doing!
At brekky ya get cereal, fruit and eggs but there's no kangaroo steaks or goanna stew like wot Mum makes. You don't get fed again until noon and by that time all the city boys are beggered because we've been on a 'route march' - geez its only just like walking to the windmill in the bullock paddock!!
This one will kill me brothers Doug and Phil with laughter. I keep getting medals for shootin' - dunno why. The bullseye is as big as a blooming dingo's eye and it don't move and it's not firing back at ya like the Johnsons did when our big scrubber bull got into their prize cows before the Ekka last year! All ya gotta do is make yourself comfortable and hit the target - it's a piece of cake!! You don't even load your own cartridges, they comes in little boxes, and ya don't have to steady yourself against the rollbar of the roo shooting truck when you reload! 
Sometimes ya gotta wrestle with the city boys and I gotta be real careful coz they break easy - it's not like fighting with Doug and Phil and Jack and Boori and Steve and Muzza all at once like we do at home after the muster.
Turns out I'm not a bad boxer either and it looks like I'm the best the platoon's got, and I've only been beaten by this one bloke from the Engineers - he's 6 foot 5 and 15 stone and three pick handles across the shoulders and as ya know I'm only 5 foot 7 and eight stone wringin' wet, but I fought him till the other blokes carried me off to the boozer.
I can't complain about the Army - tell the boys to get in quick before word gets around how blooming good it is.
 
Your loving daughter,
Susan.
 :lol: :lol: :lol:

I work very hard so don't expect me to think as well.

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Snoop

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #2947 on: April 29, 2015, 17:14 »
Excellent, Goosegirl. Laughed out loud for real. Thanks for that.

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Growster...

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #2948 on: April 29, 2015, 17:20 »
Hilarious, Goosers!

:0)

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Growster...

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #2949 on: April 29, 2015, 17:29 »
sorry, forgot:

Pol-shark : tale of a Cornish fisherman who gets sick of pilchards and find landing his new catch of porbeagles sufficiently hard work as to necessitate removing his shirt.  For a change.

Pol-start : Cornish hero who only undid half the buttons on his shirt due to being a beginner.

There was another one involving a Cornish chap whose shirt was blown off by his excessive flatulence but I can't remember what it was called.  Ahem.

Super stuff, Hamsters!

Pol dance, where everyone takes off their shirts, and most other things for that matter, and clenches their **** and ***** and ********* and also their ******, in time to the Western boundary version of The Onedin Line...

And...

Pol Enta - a Quornish delicacy...

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hamstergbert

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #2950 on: April 29, 2015, 19:34 »
A few more found down the side of the settee:


Pol Pot : Cornish wacky backy causing users to take their shirts off

Pol troon : only Ayrshire golf course where shirtless play is permitted

Pol len   : Judge of Cornish TV version of Strictly, who makes shirtless dancers sneeze.

Pol card : Jethro

Im-Pol-se : Cornish perfume spray that makes chaps rip their own shirts off

Pol-lack : shortage of fish.  Even shirtless ones.

Pol vault : secure storage for reserve shirt stocks.

Pol-ish : in the manner of a shirtless Cornishman

Pol-ly : adverb indicating in the style of a shirtless Cornishman

Re-Pol-se: former hull in the tenth submarine squadron

Pol-iticks: study of ticks and other parasites. Including some who lose their shirts, Lib Dems for example,probably



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Goosegirl

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #2951 on: April 30, 2015, 14:11 »
My sofa search found these:
Pol-icy - the Cornish custom for the Boxing Day "Wet T-shirt swim in the sea" contest
Pol-ite - Someone who supports the previous contest (usually of a female persuasion)
Po-le - as above but who comes from France
Pol-ar - as previous but who comes from Somerset
Pol-ar drift - as above but restricted to females whose only thought is ... that shirt's going to need a good wash!  :lol:

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Snoop

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #2952 on: April 30, 2015, 15:22 »
My sofa search found these:

Po-le - as above but who comes from France
:lol:

Along a similar line:

Pol-é - an expression used by Cornish folk learning to dance the Sevillana when someone throws off their shirt in a fit of enthusiasm

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Goosegirl

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #2953 on: April 30, 2015, 15:44 »
Po-le dancing - Cornish version of Morris dancing where the men tie their shirts onto their hats so they can dry out as they whirl about. (I'll get my coat).  :)

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cadalot

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #2954 on: April 30, 2015, 15:48 »
GG - I used to be a Morris Dancer but I kept falling off the bonnet

Ok got my coat were are we off too?
Morris Minor.png
« Last Edit: April 30, 2015, 15:49 by cadalot »



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