[hamstergbert]

Man is sent to see the psychiatrist:

Shrink:  So what seems to be the problem?
Patient: They say that I'm a bit touched, just because I really like sausages.
Shrink:  That's silly - lots of people like sausages.  In fact I like sausages myself!
Patient: Really?  Would you like to see my collection then, I've got hundreds......

[azubah]

 

I've never  heard that one before..

[Paul Plots]

Man is sent to see the psychiatrist:

Shrink:  So what seems to be the problem?
Patient: They say that I'm a bit touched, just because I really like sausages.
Shrink:  That's silly - lots of people like sausages.  In fact I like sausages myself!
Patient: Really?  Would you like to see my collection then, I've got hundreds......

Sounds a real head banger! 

[John]

Sounds a real head banger! 

Groan!

[Paul Plots]

Sounds a real head banger! 

Groan!

Paracetamol prescribed 

[Chrysalis]

Man is sent to see the psychiatrist:

Shrink:  So what seems to be the problem?
Patient: They say that I'm a bit touched, just because I really like sausages.
Shrink:  That's silly - lots of people like sausages.  In fact I like sausages myself!
Patient: Really?  Would you like to see my collection then, I've got hundreds......

Sounds a real head banger! 

Is that the missing link? 

[dugless]

A son asked his mother the following question:

' Mom, why are wedding dresses white? ' The mother looks at her son and
replies:

' Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure.'

The son thanks his Mom and goes off to double-check this with his father.

'Dad why are wedding dresses white? '

The father looks at his son in surprise and says:

'Son, all household appliances come in white.'
 The husband is still in intensive care and the prognosis is not good!!!

[JayG]

Not a joke as such, but I did have to smile at this even if it was of the "raised eyebrow" variety! 

I'm sure everyone has seen or heard the references to "may contain nuts" on packets of peanuts, but Tossco excelled themselves today on the labelling of their packets of pine nuts:

Recipe: No nuts

Ingredients: Cannot guarantee this product does not contain nuts.

Given that the pot of basil I started in early January has finally started to romp away and take over my kitchen (which prompted me to try making home-made pesto) I'm certainly hoping there is at least the odd pine nut in the packet (especially at £2.59 for 100g!) 

[mumofstig]

Pine nuts are not nuts 

Peanuts, almonds, pistachios, cashews, horse chestnuts and pine nuts are not nuts.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/qi/8434868/QI-Quite-interesting-facts-about-nuts.html

[wighty]

Please tell me where in Tescos you found pine nuts that cheap, I had them on my shopping list and put them back as couldn't/wouldn't pay £4 for a packet. By the way, pine nuts are seeds not nuts!

[JayG]

Please tell me where in Tescos you found pine nuts that cheap, I had them on my shopping list and put them back as couldn't/wouldn't pay £4 for a packet. By the way, pine nuts are seeds not nuts!

Tesco's website (and in my local store) - LINK

If I may I'll just pass on the question of the official (or anyone else's) definition of nuts as a potential cause of allergy problems!   

[Paul Plots]

Please tell me where in Tescos you found pine nuts that cheap, I had them on my shopping list and put them back as couldn't/wouldn't pay £4 for a packet. By the way, pine nuts are seeds not nuts!

Interestingly I thought all nuts (vegetable kind) were seeds.   

[hamstergbert]

all nuts (vegetable kind) are a subset of group seeds.

all nuts (UKIP) are a subset of the group electorate who have lost any faith whatever in the integrity of standard political classes and parties.....

I always thought pine nuts were yankee fans of a certain range of tree types......

[mumofstig]

Paul - All nuts are seeds - but not all seeds are nuts 
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nut_(fruit)#Botanical_definition

Plenty of nutcases on here though 

[Paul Plots]

Paul - All nuts are seeds - but not all seeds are nuts 
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nut_(fruit)#Botanical_definition

Plenty of nutcases on here though 

I''m no confused  Just tired.