[tigerlil]

When we got married our minister said to my husband " Donnie, some days you will look at your wife and think you love her so much you could eat her, and other days you will wish you had???"

[allot2learn]

Before the 2001 inauguration of George W Bush, he was invited to a 'get acquainted tour' of the White House.
After drinking several glasses of iced tea, he asked outgoing President Bill Clinton if he could use his bathroom.

When he entered Clinton's private toilet, he was astonished to see that President Clinton had a solid gold urinal!

That afternoon, George told his wife, Laura, about the urinal. “Just think,' he said, 'when I am President, I too could have a gold urinal. But I wouldn't do something so self-indulgent!”

Later, when Laura had lunch with Hillary at her tour of the White House, she told Hillary how impressed George had been at his discovery of the fact that, in his private bathroom, the President had a gold urinal.

That evening, when Bill and Hillary were getting ready for bed, Hillary smiled, and said to Bill: “I found out who pee'd in your saxophone.”

[davethespread]

i had to close my curiosity shop today due to infestation.

i found seventeen dead cats in there.

[Gwiz]

This girl I know has never ever had a boyfriend.
She has a face that looks just like an owl's.


Turns out that all the boys think she looks too-weird-to-woo.

[mumofstig]

 

[DD.]

[mumofstig]

oh so true! 

[prakash_mib]

went down to allotment last week and somebody had put two inches of soil all over it. went there again last night and it had happened again.
The plot thickens
 

[prakash_mib]

sorry if you havent got the previous one.
this is good

I now pronounce you husband and wife. you may now update your facebook status and tweet.

[savbo]

went down to allotment last week and somebody had put two inches of soil all over it. went there again last night and it had happened again.
The plot thickens
 

worthy of Milton Jones!

[BussinSpain]

Why do melons have fancy weddings? Because they cantaloupe.  Boom Boom!

[BussinSpain]

New gardeners learn by by trowel and error. 

[BussinSpain]

Q: What do you call a grumpy and short-tempered gardener?
A: A Snap Dragon.

ok this is the 3rd "funny" I have posted - time for another G & T - it's 5pm here in Spain so I am allowed - yes?

[Chrysalis]

 

What are the jokes like before the G and T? 

[BussinSpain]

What are the jokes like before the G and T? 

"Can't remember"!!  LOL!