[Glosterboy]

See attached. I hope!!!!!!!!!

[Yorkie]

  Very good!

[DD.]

Another funny vid:

nGeKSiCQkPwfeature=youtube_gdata_player

[snowdrops]

See attached. I hope!!!!!!!!!

Very good I wonder what the judge had to hide?

[Raven81]

OK this isn't a joke but it made me laugh. We were watching a film and they said something about someone wearing cornflower blue, my OH said to me "why is it called cornflower blue when cornflour is white?".
Apparently he never knew it was a flower!!!!

[joyfull]

  Oh dear he must be a townie then 

[hamstergbert]

I read about an Oxford University professor of English literature who really hated Kipling.
Apparently the first time he was kippled had been a very bad experience......

[plum crumble]

  I must be thick. I don't get that, sorry 

[Trillium]

About Cats & Dogs

What is a cat?

- Cats do what they want.

- They rarely listen to you.

- They are totally unpredictable.

- When you want to play, they want to be alone.

- When you want to be alone, they want to play.

- They expect you to cater to their every whim.

- They are moody.

- They leave hair everywhere.

- They drive you nuts and cost an arm and a leg.

Conclusion: They are tiny women in fur coats.


What is a dog?

- Dogs lie around all day, sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house.

- They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but they don't hear you when you are in the same room.

- They growl when they are not happy.

- When you want to play, they want to play.

- When you want to be alone, they want to play.

- They are great at begging.

- They will love you forever if you rub their tummies.

- They leave their toys everywhere.

- They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give you a kiss.

- Conclusion: They are little men in fur coats

[Trillium]

An old man decided his old wife was getting hard of hearing. So he called her doctor to make an appointment to have her hearing checked.

The Doctor said he could see her in two weeks, and meanwhile there's a simple, informal test the husband could do to give the doctor some idea of the dimensions of the problem.

"Here's what you do. Start about 40 feet away from her, and speak in a normal conversational tone and see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response."

So that evening she's in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he's in the living room, and he says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens."

"Honey, what's for supper?" No response.

So he moves to the other end of the room, about 30 feet away. "Honey, what's for supper?" No response.

So he moves into the dining room, about 20 feet away. "Honey, what's for supper?" No response.

On to the kitchen door, only 10 feet away. "Honey, what's for supper?". No response.

So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for supper?"

"For the fifth time, chicken!"

[Raven81]

Trillium - that really made me laugh!! rather reminded me of my house!

[mumofstig]

the cat /dog one made me splutter 

[Trillium]

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle.

In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly ignorant of its slipping rider.

Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over... As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness. When to her great fortune, Bobby, the Wal-Mart greeter sees her and unplugs the horse.

Now who said Walmart greeters are there only to greet?

(Walmart is a huge discount chain store)

[LilacSandy]

Hi Trillium,  we are not that backward, we have Asda you know

[DD.]

Mystic Cat