I was just about to do a new thread to relieve all the gloomy news etc so here it is. Mods, please modify or delete as necessary.
1). Solving the loo-roll shortage.
Grab as many old newspapers, magazines, or unwanted mail as you can, cut them into oblongs, make a hole at the top with a hole-puncher then find an old metal coat-hanger and a piece of string. Put the coat-hanger hook on your loo-roll holder, thread the aforesaid string through the holes then tie them on to the bottom of the hanger rail. Just as a caveat, GG is not responsible for your choice of newspaper, and nor is she going to respond to anyone who tried it and found a reverse imprint of page three on their rear end.
2) This may be your one and only time to delve into the bottom of your fridge and freezer to have a good old clear-out, but GG is not responsible for any mis-labelling.
3) Now's the time to impress your OH with your newly-learnt cooking skills whilst doing an early spring clean. Just empty all your cupboards, make an inventory of their contents, then throw out anything that's out-of-date by three years. A spag bol may never taste as good if you chuck in whatever you fancy, especially if you've imbibed a bit of vino collapso.
4) If any one decides to visit you, please inform then beforehand by putting a laminated sign on your door which states
When you arrive please avail yourself of our home-made astronaut’s suit and wipe your shoes on my newly-sanitised doormat, then we’ll happily provide you with a hot drink via a sanitised plastic tube which will hopefully go into your gastric region unless I mistakenly connect it to the wrong inlet. I’d prefer not to take you to A&E in case they think the Aliens have landed – ha!
Don't know what else to say but please keep safe.
GGxxx
