The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!

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Plot 1 Problems

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4020 on: February 26, 2021, 15:40 »
3) Worcestershire sauce.

 :mad:  >:(  :mad:  >:(  :mad:  >:(  :mad:  >:(  :mad:

Arrrrrrrggggggh! It's not difficult!

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JayG

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4021 on: February 27, 2021, 10:55 »
Had my Covid jab a few days ago - strangely she jabbed me in my leg rather than my arm.

Pfizer still hurting now.
Sow your seeds, plant your plants. What's the difference? A couple of weeks or more when answering possible queries!

One of the best things about being an orang-utan is the fact that you don't lose your good looks as you get older

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mumofstig

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4022 on: February 27, 2021, 11:00 »
groan  ::)

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Plot 1 Problems

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4023 on: February 28, 2021, 00:42 »
Had my Covid jab a few days ago - strangely she jabbed me in my leg rather than my arm.

Pfizer still hurting now.


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Growster...

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Blackpool rocket

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4025 on: March 01, 2021, 16:54 »
"What is your super power?"

"Hindsight"

"That's not going to help us"

"Yes, I see that now"

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Growster...

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4026 on: March 03, 2021, 06:19 »
Two alligators were walking down the street and one says, "Its quiet around here"!

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Blackpool rocket

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4027 on: March 05, 2021, 15:08 »

Just found out that my uncle is a mime artist.



He kept that quiet.

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John

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4028 on: March 05, 2021, 17:50 »
Had my Covid jab a few days ago - strangely she jabbed me in my leg rather than my arm.

Pfizer still hurting now.
Finally I got it! Groan :)
Check out our books - ideal presents

John and Val Harrison's Books
 

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John

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4029 on: March 09, 2021, 09:36 »
This one is true...
Due to some confusion over the numbers on the end bits of the hair clippers, I now have a new hairstyle, rather than the Einstein look I was cultivating.
It's going to save a lot of money on shampoo but it's costing a fortune in Mr Sheen!  :ohmy:

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Val H

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4030 on: March 13, 2021, 18:54 »
Farmer goes out to his field one morning only to find all his cows frozen solid. As far as the eye can see are cows, motionless like statues. It had been a cold night but he'd never thought anything like this would happen.
The realisation of the situation then dawned on him.
With his entire livestock gone how would he make ends meet?
How would he feed his wife and kids ?
How would he pay the mortgage?
He sat with his head in his hands trying to come to terms with his impending poverty.
Just then an elderly woman walked by. "What's the matter?" asked the old lady.The farmer gestured toward the frozen cows and explained his predicament to the woman.
Without hesitation the old woman smiled and began to rub one of the cows noses.After a few seconds the cow began to twitch and was soon back to normal and chewing the cud.
One by one the old woman defrosted the cows until the whole field was full of healthy animals.
The farmer was delighted and asked the woman what she wanted as a repayment for her deed.She declined his offer and walked off across the field. A passer-by who had witnessed the whole thing approached the farmer.
"You know who that was don't you?" asked the passer-by. "No" said the farmer.
 "That was Thora Hird"

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mumofstig

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4031 on: March 13, 2021, 20:07 »
groan  :D

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Growster...

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4032 on: March 14, 2021, 06:51 »
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, a German, an American, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a Finn, an Israeli, a Romanian, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian, a Libyan, a Muslim, a Hindu, a Buddhist and an African went to a night club.

The bouncer said, "Sorry lads............. I can't let you in without a Thai." !

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Blackpool rocket

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4033 on: March 14, 2021, 16:12 »
Here's a question for all you mind readers out there..

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basketcase

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4034 on: March 15, 2021, 03:12 »
Here's a question for all you mind readers out there..

 :lol:

Which reminds me...

Man gets sent to prison, come the first meal break some one says "142" and everybody laughs.  Soon after, another bloke says "19" and everybody laughs again. 

This goes on for a while and the newbie turns to the man beside him and says "What's going on?  Why is everybody laughing at numbers?"

His fellow inmate says "Oh that.  They're jokes.  It's just that we've all been her so long that we numbered them instead of telling the whole thing to save time."

"Oh, right.  Would anybody mind if I joined in?"

"No not all.  Go right ahead".

So our friend takes a deep breath and says "259".  To his great surprise, the whole table falls about laughing harder than ever. 

So he says "Well, that went down well".

"Yes" came the reply.  "We hadn't heard that one before..."



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